The Other Side
by a red burn
Summary: Sequel to Affinity -- MS -- FINALLY UPDATED! SEP26
1. Chapter One

Title: The Other Side.  
  
Author: Andréa  
  
E-mail: jarhead_x@hotmail.com   
  
Summary: Sequel to Affinity.  
  
Rating: PG-13  
  
Category: MS of course.  
  
Spoiler: None, I think.  
  
Disclaimer: The characters are not mine and I'm not making any money out of spending hours of my day obsessing over them.   
  
Author's note: English isn't my first spoken language so grammar mistakes will be inevitable. It's from Sam's POV so swearing and cursing are part of this fic. It's inside her head so it's obvious that there will be this kind of thing. Original trio (As Lia likes to call) and all the other members of ...::D E S T I N E D::... I'm doing this due to your lovely comments and sweet words. All of your reviews were like sunshine on my day. Every time I went to the forum and read all the kind words I felt like writing more. I love you gals ::wipe tears away:: And don't forget to review!!! All feedback is accepted with shrieks of glee!  
  
Martin and Sam shipper forum @ destinedto.proboards26.com  
  
*~*   
  
"And I draw a line  
  
To your heart today  
  
To your heart from mine  
  
One line to keep us safe"   
  
-- One Line, by PJ Harvey.  
  
*~*  
  
**Chapter One**  
  
"Don't you two need to breath?"   
  
The voice was like cold water over us. I stopped the kiss with a start, taking my lips away from Martin's and my hands from under his sweatshirt. We both turned at the same time to see who had interrupted us like that. That voice was unmistakable, but in the middle of what we were doing it was a little difficult to my brain to recognize it. I mean; I was kissing Martin... giggles  
  
"It's humanly impossible to stay so long without air." He held a big amused smile on his face that made me want to wipe it off with my hands.   
  
"What are you doing here Danny?"  
  
"Checking with my own eyes." He said, not really answering my question. He took his dark glasses from his eyes as he very lamely tried to restrain a laugh. "And I may add if I hadn't seen with my own eyes I'd never believe in this scene."  
  
I sighed and closed my eyes so I could rub them. All I wanted was a calm and full of kisses and snuggles Sunday with Martin. Surely Danny and his sarcasm weren't in my plans. Why God, oh why I never get what I want? Err, not never... Martin's here with me, isn't he? But the person in question didn't seem bothered by Danny's sudden appearance for he tightened his arms around me. Humm... so comfortable...  
  
"Give us some break, Danny." Hum, now hearing Martin's voice he seemed annoyed by the interruption.   
  
Danny stared at us longer than he needed and suddenly he started chuckling. "We never have a camera when we need one." He muttered as he put his glasses back on and walked off.   
  
I watched him walk away and when I could no longer see him I turned to Martin so I was facing him again. To my surprise his lips held a wide grin. "What?" And instead of answering me he bent down and locked our lips together again.   
  
Hum... yeah... our make out session was really good today.   
  
* * *  
  
I let go of his hand and wrapped my arm around his waist. Feeling my little move he put his arm around my shoulders and pulled me closer to him. I gladly snuggled more into him and sighed deeply, both to feel his wonderful smell better and to show the pleasure I was feeling by being in his arms.   
  
The wind soft blew around us and Martin reached out a hand, gently putting a lock of hair back behind my ear. The simple touch of his skin against mine was enough to send fire within my body, to make a tingle ran along my spine. My heart skipped a beat and it was beating so soundly I almost could swear he could hear it.   
  
Pulling his hand away, his lips found a spot on my head and kissed it. His warm lips softly against my skin only increased the sensations in my body. I closed my eyes for a brief moment and sighed again with pleasure. This was just too damn good.   
  
We walked in silence down a path in the Central Park, just enjoying the company and the view. Even being cold, it was a sunny day and the sky was very blue. I like days like this, the sun bright and warm, but the occasional cold wind blowing, causing snuggles into a blanket, warm coats or a very warm body... Yeah, well, I do have a smirk on my lips. He's one hot guy... I mean; I'm in love with a nice, kind, and handsome and hot guy. How more lucky can a woman get.....  
  
We slowly decreased our pace until we had stopped. Martin pulled away and put both hands on my face, cupping it and stared at me for a long while then he leaned in and placed his lips among mine. He gave me a small, sweet kiss and pulled back. "I love you."   
  
I brought my hand up and put it over one of his on my face and held it so I could kiss his palm. "Me too." I said after my small kiss.  
  
..... And this one guy was in love with me too. Yup, how more lucky can a woman get?  
  
"Hey, you know what's cool?" I asked as I put both hands over his chest, flattening it and looking up at him, right in his eyes. How I loved his blue eyes...  
  
"No. What's cool?" He whispered the words in my ear and started nibbling it.   
  
I closed my eyes and tried to keep my breath steady and stopping a very embarrassing moan from escaping from my mouth. Jesus... he knew very well the effect he had on me and, still he kept doing this in a public place. "We'll... we..." I took in a deep breath and tried to focus on my words instead of the feeling of his mouth on my skin. "We'll be celebrating one year anniversary next Valentine's Day."   
  
He stopped nibbling my dear ear time enough to whisper in it. "Interesting. While people are getting out, we'll be having a party."   
  
I laughed and, getting out of my almost hypnotic state, I pulled away from him so he would stop doing his... thing on my ear. Not that I didn't like, because, oh my, that was really good, but like I said before, public place. "Yeah, a particular party inside a bedroom."   
  
"Hmm... I like the way you think."   
  
"Of course. I always have the greatest ideas."   
  
"Oh yeah." And there he was again, nibbling my ear.   
  
I closed my eyes as that burning sensation in my belly grew bigger and my breath grew smaller... "Martin..." I whispered, not with no strength to do something else.  
  
"Yeah?"   
  
"Stop."   
  
"Why?"   
  
Why? Well because if you keep that up you'll be soon laying on the ground naked like the day you were born... "You know why."   
  
He finally let go of my precious ear, pulling his warm lips away; only to be replaced by the cold wind and I wondered if it was really a good idea. His pulling away, I mean. Then he chuckled as one hand reached up to twist a lock of my hair. "I know." He said with that boyish smile of his.   
  
I couldn't stop a smile of my own from creeping over my face. I stared at him as he stared at me while his hand played with my hair. There was a look in his eyes that I always wondered what it was about, but I only saw when he looked at me, so I deduced it was good thing. I was getting used to it, though I still caught myself surprised now and then when I caught him looking at me and I'd never stop being amazed by it. I didn't matter for how long I looked at him, for how long he gave me this especial look.   
  
"I love you." Came out of my mouth seconds later, barely above a whisper and it made him smile even more and his eyes shine. I think he still couldn't believe I was his, that I was in love with him.   
  
"I really hope so."   
  
I wrapped my arms around his waist and let him embrace me; hold me with those strong and male arms of his. I breathed in deeply - I always did that - to feel his smell, always wonderful and sweet. "I do." I nodded against his chest. "I do."  
  
"I love you too. Very much." He whispered just before kissing the top of my head.   
  
Sometimes I wonder if Martin believes it's real, if he has doubts about us, that I'm really in love with him. I don't blame him, I know how it feels, all this questions and doubts because it is all so wonderful and so... untrue. It's like a fairy tale and fairy tales don't exists and that's why I am so afraid that one day I can wake up and he's not by my side, it was all a very good dream.   
  
Depressing, I know, but I didn't have a really good past so waiting for bad things to happen was much easier than hoping for good things. I wanted to change that, though and hopefully Martin would do that for me.  
  
Just because I didn't have a happy past doesn't mean I don't want a happy future.  
  
* * *  
  
He caught my eyes from across the table and gave me a small smile while he watched Jack with one eye so he wouldn't catch us in a flirty moment. I gave him a smile back and looked down at my papers. I had work to do and so did Martin. We did not have time to flirt. Yeah, right... Don't think my brain knew that because soon I was looking back at Martin.   
  
This time he was looking down at his papers too and didn't see my stolen glance. But I think he felt it because as I was looking down I caught his eyes just as he looked up and smiled to myself. I saw his lips moving and a mouthed 'I love you'. I love you too, I thought to myself, more than my life.   
  
Me too, I mouthed back and looked down again, at my papers. Wanting it or not I had work to do and a missing person to find and at that very moment, even if saying to Martin how much I loved him was important, it wasn't more important than finding Emily Robinson.   
  
I had a very thick load paper of telephone calls from Emily to other people, which I had to run through and find something suspicious. Not a fun part, but necessary. Well, but I whished I had field job to do instead. Interrogating people was always more fun. But this time Danny and Viv were the ones who got this part...  
  
* * *  
  
I reached my hand out but instead of touching the mug of coffee like I had expected, it touched, well, air. I looked up confused, sure that I had put my mug there just to meet Martin's face. "Hey."   
  
"It's empty." He said lifting my previously very full mug of coffee.   
  
I narrowed my eyes and stared at him. "But it wasn't."   
  
"Yes, it was."   
  
"No. It wasn't." He smirked at me and put my mug where it was before he came and made it hostage.   
  
I sighed and leaned back on my chair as I rubbed one hand over my tired eyes. I had a ton of paperwork to do and seriously didn't need a wit Martin. I know, he was sweet and nice and I loved him but with all the work I had to do and wanting to get home sooner than later, handling Martin right now wasn't something I wanted to do.   
  
Sorry Martin, but it seems I'm going to be a bitch for a while...   
  
"I don't have the time right now, ok? Please, just give me my coffee back." I stretched my hand out and waited patiently for him to return my so worshiped black liquid. But he didn't. "I need it." I said, but it came out more as a plea. I didn't want it to be a plea...   
  
"I told you it's empty." He turned the mug upside down just to make his point known and I sighed again. Oh Martin, you're seriously asking me to kick your ass...  
  
I stood and crossed my arms in front of me, shooting him a very scary look. Humm, well, I think it's scary.. I mean; if I was the one receiving this look I'd be scared... "Martin..." I warned and counted to ten, or tried to, giving him time to return my coffee. It's my coffee, damn it!  
  
"I'll give all the coffee you want if you come with me to buy it."   
  
"Buy it?" I asked perplexed. "Why would I go all the way down to buy coffee if there's a machine right over there?" I pointed at the general direction of the coffee maker and kept my hand up, in an inquiry way, just waiting for him to give me an answer.   
  
He sighed and raised his eyebrows as he put his hand on his hips. He stayed like that, just staring at me, waiting me to see his point, but humm... I didn't. Was I missing something here? As I kept mute he became frustrated and eventually sighed. "Come one, Sam... You're smarter than that..."   
  
Confusion and anxiety escaped within me and showed on my physical appearance. Am I not getting something here...? Until something finally clicked in my head and slowly one of those big smiles only Martin gave me formed over my lips. "Oh." It was all I could reply with.   
  
He breathed out a big relieved puff of air. "Finally." He muttered and I started giggling.   
  
Martin, oh poor Martin... Why did I have to make him suffer so much? I wondered myself if this slow train of thought came this slow on purpose or if because of his presence I turned into a retard. "Ok, sir. Let's buy my coffee." I said as a chuckle got out of me. Oh my, the look on Martin's face was even more hilarious than my numb state...   
  
Poor, Martin... and all he wanted was a make out session in the elevator...  
  
* * *  
  
I locked my lips with him one more time, slowly tasting and nibbling them, gathering courage enough to finally let go of him. And his mouth. I sighed as our lips broke apart making a muffled sound echoing through the almost empty parking lot. "I should go." I said though I didn't move.   
  
"Me too." He said back and didn't move either. His hand was under my blouse, on the small of my back while my hands were wrapped around his collar, pulling his face closer to mine. If we didn't stop right then we'd be seriously doing something much more than just kissing.   
  
"Yeah." I whispered staring at him, looking deeply in his blue eyes. I didn't want to take my hands from him, I didn't want him to take his hand from my skin and looking at his face I wanted to kiss him again. I bit my lip trying to keep it from moving with its own will and locking themselves with Martin's again.   
  
He slowly took his hands from under my blouse - and I instantly missed his touch - and put it back on place, then his hands were placed on my face instead. He gave me a quick kiss on the lips and pulled away from me, far enough so I wouldn't be able to grab him again and we start another kissing session.   
  
"I love you." He said stepping back, away from me and my car. Away and away... Please come back.  
  
"Love you, too." The words came out mixed with my smile as it broke across my face. I felt burning in my belly and chills through my body. I would never ever get tired of hearing these words from him. Never. "Bye." I whispered and he waved a hand at me when he heard it and kept on walking away from me. "I love you." I yelled, saying the words again, so he could hear from where he was and waved too.   
  
He gave me a big, breath taking smile and mouthed 'Me too'. And kept on walking. I heard him opening the door of his car and he looked back, just to check if I had gotten inside my own. He always did that.   
  
I opened my door and got inside before he could say something then turned my car on. My God, how could I miss someone so much like I was already missing Martin? It was unnatural... I wanted him to be with me every waking moment. I wanted his lips over mine all the time; I wanted his warm hands touching my skin every time I looked at him. And I truly hoped this feeling would never go away. That it'd last forever.  
  
* * *  
  
End of chapter 1.   
  
Please, review. *smile*, but no flames. You don't want to make me cry, do you? *pout* 


	2. Chapter Two

~*~  
  
Chapter Two  
  
~*~  
  
The spring was coming and as if my mood depended on it, happiness was with me. Spring reminded me of love and feelings, which reminded me of Martin, which reminded me of how happy I was. I could seem silly... I don't know... but love tends to do that to people. It makes them seem stupid and dumb or silly but it makes them see all the good things about life; see the good side of everything. Everything seemed perfectly fine.   
  
That's what was happening to me. Every place I looked at, all I could see was good things, beautiful scenes. As I sat outside my apartment, in the balcony, I looked down at the people passing by. I twisted a lock of my hair around my finger, as my other hand was supporting my head while its elbow was resting over the railing.   
  
New York is a dark city. A lot of gray and brown and dark colors but all I seemed to see were yellow and red and blue. Even the sky was brighter then it used to be. How silly, I know... But I was happy.   
  
I sighed and looked down at my wrist to check the hour one more time. Two minutes since the last time I had done that... What was taking Martin so long? He had called and said he'd be here within 20 minutes and it was already... I looked at my watch to check the hour yet again and the time read... well, it wasn't even 15 minutes yet. Ok, all right, I throw my hands up in surrender... I sighed in frustration and sat on the iron bank in the balcony.   
  
After endless two minutes I heard a light knock on the door and practically jumped from the bank to open it. "Hey." I didn't even give him time to answer for I was already in his arms. I pulled back and immediately joined our lips in a breath taking kiss.   
  
A little too desperate, I know, but I missed him. A lot. Even being only a few hours since I had last seen him. After our making out session in the parking lot at the FBI building I couldn't take him out of my mind. I longed to see his smile and to smell his scent. I was seriously thinking about buying the same cologne he used so I could smell it whenever I wanted, without having that crazy need for him.   
  
When I finally pulled my lips away he started chuckling but kept one arm around my waist. "I should come over more often."   
  
"Damn right you should."   
  
He kissed me again and led me inside so he could close the door with our lips still locked. "I stopped by the Blockbuster." He said lifting a plastic bag, which I noticed for the first time he was holding.   
  
"Movies? What did you pick?" I asked trying to peek inside the bag and see as we walked to the TV room.   
  
He handed me the bag and walked towards the opposite direction, what, with all my wonderful perception of things, I immediately noticed. Why was he walking away from me? Why was he going to one side when I was going to the couch? Was I being ridiculous? I think I was because I didn't feel like I could do something about him going away even wanting to.   
  
The thing was, the realistic Sam seemed to be on vacation...  
  
"Take a look yourself. I'm going to order pizza." His voice brought me from my retarded land and back to reality.   
  
Oh... Err...  
  
Dumb Samantha was back to earth.   
  
"Are you hungry?"   
  
"Not really." Someway I managed to shoo away dumbness and bring my voice back, steady and normal. Just like Samantha's voice would sound. "But order for me too. We never know." I muttered and opened the bag to check the movies. A Walk to Remember. Seen. Moulin Rouge. Seen. The Ring. Oooooo, seen, but I love this movie.   
  
And he knew I loved. It was a scary movie but after I watching it for three times it wasn't scary anymore. He only ranted this movie because I snuggled into him, as if his male bravery would save me from the unreal monster that'd improbable come out of the TV and grab me. Pff.... ridiculous, but he liked to feel as if he could protect me. Ha, like I didn't have a gun to do so... Well... let him.   
  
"The pizza will be here in 20 minutes."   
  
"Good."   
  
He put the phone down and walked back to me. Ahhhhh, the way it should be. I mean, if I'm here what's the reason to Martin be there? When he was close enough he put his arms around my waist and pulled me closer to him only to bury his face in my neck and place tiny kisses there. Hummmmm..... "... Good...." I whispered, or... well, it could be called a purr because it sounded more like a purr.   
  
"Tasty." He whispered with a smile on his lips. Don't ask... I just felt his lips turning up.   
  
"Of course." I said using the opportunity that his lips weren't on my neck and I had control over my voice to speak. "I have to be... juicy for my man."   
  
He pulled away and looked at me with a stunned expression and I smirked. Ha, see? He was the one dumb now. Finally. Seeing my smile one of his own started to form and he tilted his head then a light chuckle escaped from his mouth. "Really?"   
  
I raised my eyebrows and nodded and soon his hands were on my hips and his lips over mine. He kissed me in such a way he had never done before. He slowly kissed my lips seeming to be tasting them, using his tongue to play with me. His hands started to creep under my shirt, slowly caressing my belly and up until he felt my bra. He stopped there, using his fingers to caress right where my bra stopped them. I couldn't stop a moan from coming out of my mouth.   
  
He pulled away but I hadn't strength enough to open my eyes, so I just stayed there, dumb again, with my eyes closed and my mouth open, trying to catch as much air as I could. "You sure are tasty."   
  
I bit my lip, trying to stop a smile and slowly opened my eyes, then stared at him. This would be a fun night. A really fun one.   
  
* * *   
  
"The movie is over." I heard his whispered words in my ear and slightly stirred, focusing back on the TV. I think I fell asleep in the middle of it and didn't get to snuggle into Martin. Poor Martin. "You fell asleep."   
  
"I didn't." I tried a failed attempt to stop a yawn putting my hand over my mouth. "I was just taking a nap."   
  
"Yeah. I could even hear you snoring."   
  
"I don't snore." I said back and looked at the watch to... err; see how long I had been sleeping. "Hey, it's almost midnight."   
  
"Yeah."   
  
I started to get up, but Martin's hand quickly stopped me. "Where are you going?"   
  
"Come on." I took his hand from me and held it with my own, pulling him up. "I want to show you something."   
  
He got up and walked with me to the balcony. "There." I pointed out to a building across the street. The lights were on and there was the shadow of a person walking around. "See that? Where the lights are on?"   
  
"Yeah."   
  
"Can you hear?"  
  
He kept quite for a second or two then smiled at me. "Yeah."   
  
A soft melody was coming from that apartment and I closed my eyes to hear it better. "Every night, the sir who lives there hears Breakfast at Tiffany's soundtrack until midnight."   
  
"Really?" I nodded sleepy and Martin looked down to check his watch. He kept looking at it until it was midnight and the music stopped then, a few seconds later the lights went out. He looked at me and smiled then placed a soft kiss on my forehead. "Come on, let's go to bed. You're sleeping over your feet."   
  
"Hmm..."   
  
With me in his arms, we slowly walked to my bedroom and Martin helped me to climb on the bed. As soon as I was comfortable, he pulled the blankets over me and kissed my forehead again. "G'night. I love you." He said and started to stand.  
  
I held his hand and pulled him. "Stay." I whispered sleepy and without a word he laid beside me after taking off his shoes.   
  
One more night in Martin's arms. I don't know how I lived so long without it and now that I had tried it I wasn't willing to let him go. Never again.  
  
* * *  
  
"Sam!"   
  
Oh no... please, don't let it be him... please... I silently prayed, as I turned frightened it would be him. Damn, it was. "Danny." I sighed his name out and gave him a half hearted smile. I think God was mad at me...  
  
"So, we haven't spoken in a while." He sneered, his face held that smirk of his.   
  
"Really? I didn't notice." I looked back at the white board. After Martin I never thought work would be the most important thing in my life, but at that very moment, it was.  
  
"Oh, well, we should catch up then." I turned to him with a dead serious worried expression on my face. He only smirked and kept on talking. "My Valentine's Day sucked. I stayed at home all day, thank you for asking. How about yours?" He leaned on the table and put a hand over it to support his body.   
  
I turned back to the white board. "Good." I answered without looking at him as I kept reading what was written on it. "As you see I survived the day." I said matter of factly.  
  
"Much more than just survived." He muttered under a chuckle.   
  
I sighed again and finally turned to look at him. My God, was I going to be under such interrogation every time I met Danny? It's been three weeks already since Valentine's Day and still Danny found a new away to mock me. And, well, catching us in the middle of a make out session a while ago didn't help matters either. He seemed to have re-charged his batteries... or his vocabulary because he always had new words to say, or to mock me.   
  
I wondered if Martin suffered the same. 'I hope so' my evil side barked in my head. I know I should only want good things to Martin, but that was my evil self coming out, what did you expect?   
  
"I'm here, ain't I? And alive. And still talking to Martin. You can imagine."   
  
"Come on, Sam. Tell me something I don't know yet."   
  
"Well," I stopped to think of something that wouldn't be dangerous or a reason for Danny to make fun of me. Then I remembered something. "I used the sweatshirt you gave me."   
  
"Really?" His face lit up and a smile formed across his lips. So, Danny, how old are you? I wondered again.   
  
"Yup."   
  
"Cool."   
  
"Yeah." I said without any emotion whatsoever.  
  
"Really."   
  
"I know."   
  
"I mean..."   
  
"Danny!" I lifted one hand mentioning him to shut up, but glad he had changed the subject from me. "We still have work to do."   
  
"I know." He nodded and came closer to me to look at the white board too.   
  
I should use the time to put a lot of things in his head so he'd be too busy to think of me and Martin.  
  
Jesus Christ... he was really a child...  
  
* * *   
  
"You up for drinks?"   
  
He looked up at me with a start. Did I startle him? Humm, why would I even startle him? Then he sighed and I didn't like it. Oh no, I didn't like it at all. "I can't." Damn...   
  
I made a disappointed face and let out a breathed "Oh." I took my eyes from his and brought it down to the papers in front of him. Have you hated your job so much as I did then? I mean; I liked my job but the paperwork? Nah. And worse, when I couldn't do as I wished because of it, especially for it keeping Martin working... "Too much paperwork?"   
  
He sighed again and lifted the load on the table then brought it down again. "Unfortunately. But well... this needs to be done."   
  
"Not good..." I didn't mean to sound needy but when you love someone so much and you feel like your life depends on this person, then, sounding needy is the last of your worries... Not that I was really worried. I didn't need to keep anything from Martin any longer. Now I felt as if I should tell him everything and he made me at easy enough to do so.   
  
He let a light chuckle escape from his mouth as he kept staring at me with those amazing eyes. Seriously, I could stay my entire life just looking at them and not miss a damn thing in the world. Not miss a single thing. My face broke with a smile as I stared back at him without saying a word, neither of us saying a thing.   
  
Then he placed a gentle hand on my leg and squeezed it softly. He didn't take his hand away, let it there, right over my leg, caressing it. His touch was warm; I could feel it even through the material of my black pants. And it was so gentle and careful. I mean, he couldn't hurt me by touching me, but he acted as if I was made of porcelain and could break with of a single touch of him.   
  
"You coming over tonight?"   
  
"Sure." He nodded just as he got up to stood in front of me. "As soon as I'm done I'm outta here."   
  
"Ok. I'll make something for dinner."  
  
"Can I choose? I mean, since I'll be the one to do the cooking."  
  
I narrowed my lips and eyes and slapped him playfully on the arm. Of course he's the one to do the cooking. The kitchen had already a vengeance plan against me and every time I even tried to get near it, I felt the bad vibe... I hate kitchens; they hate me. Simple. I don't get near it and I won't get burn. Hmm... Err, retarded speech...  
  
He let his jaw fall as he scoffed faking a surprised face. "Samantha... How could you..."   
  
I rolled my eyes but couldn't stop a smile of my own. "Don't waste your breath. You could waste it doing much more benefic things."   
  
"Oh, really? Like what?"   
  
"Oh, maybe kissing me." I said mimicking the way he had spoken his words.   
  
"I told you before, I like the way you think." He spoke with his mouth an inch from mine, his breathe right on my face. He leaned in and placed a tiny kiss on my lips and pulled away before my brain could even register he had kissed me.   
  
I crossed my arms over my chest and stared at him searching for any sign of mockery but he had a serious face, well, besides the smile on his lips. "And you call this a kiss?"   
  
"What? Do you want me to give you a breath taking kiss right here?"   
  
"What's the problem?" I scoffed trying to figure it out myself the reason of his amusement.  
  
He started laughing like I had just said a stupid joke, because you know, the stupidest jokes are the ones people laugh the most, and this irritated me. I kept a straight face and my arms firmly over my chest as I stared at him and waited until he had calmed himself.   
  
He leaned even closer and whispered in my ear, "I can barely touch you without turning you on."   
  
Ok, now I felt my cheek burning and I'm sure I blushed. I probably was red like an apple. Well, it's not my fault if my boyfriend was so damn hot... I mean, if you were the one dating him would you be able to control yourself? Of course not! Just look at him. "Oh, shut up." I mumbled.  
  
He started chuckling softly and soon a smiled formed over my lips. Seriously I could not stay mad at him. I could not even be mad at him, or pretend to be. "You're just too cute."   
  
"Ha, cute..." I muttered lamely mimicking his voice, but I was smiling. "I'm going now."  
  
"All right. I won't take too long."   
  
"'Kay. I'll be waiting you." I whispered onto his lips and kissed him really quick. What do you think? I couldn't leave without giving his one last kiss... for the time being, that is.   
  
* * *   
  
Till next. And review! 


	3. Chapter Three

**Chapter Three**  
  
"Coming!" I yelled from my bedroom. I was sitting on my bed trying to take that damned boot off my foot. I had taken the first one really easy but my problem became bigger when I tried the second one. That thing just wouldn't get out. "Just a sec." I yelled again and tried one more time to take it off.  
  
Fuck it...  
  
I got up and walked to the door with one foot bare and the other... boot-ed. My feet were hurting from walking all day with those boots and all I wanted was to take them off... Why couldn't God agree with me once in a while?   
  
I kind of limped all my way to the door, cursing all the while the boot. As I stood in front of the door I swear I could smell him already. Or maybe it was just that he had come here so many times that my apartment was beginning to smell like him. Or, well.. it could be psychological, you know, his name = his smell.   
  
I shook my head and focused on what I had to do, so I opened the door. "Hey." I smiled by seeing him and soon I placed my lips over his with a welcoming kiss.  
  
He brought one hand to my face to put more pressure on the kiss and the other sneaked around my waist to keep me in place. I couldn't help but smile through the kiss. He pulled his lips away, which were already turned up in a smile, hands still on me. "Hey." He greeted and using the hand on my face he softly caressed it.   
  
I got lost in his eyes and the sensation of his touch for a moment, unable to speak. It was so damn good. "The things are in the kitchen. I'll be right back." I whispered and gave him a quick kiss then left him alone to walk back to my bedroom, limping of course. It was now or never. Or this boot would come off or it would feel the wrath of Samantha Spade.  
  
"The groceries are still in the bags." I heard Martin saying from the kitchen and noises of doors opening and closing.   
  
"Oh, well, I didn't have the time." I mumbled this half lie as I struggled with my boot. I'm sure he must have had at least chuckled but since I was away from him I couldn't hear. But I knew Martin and I could picture him taking things from the cupboards as he chuckled. Or even laughed.   
  
I forgot about Martin for a few seconds to focus on the task at hand. How could something become so tight? I mean, when I put my boot on this morning it fitted perfectly but now it just wouldn't come off. Did it grow smaller or something...?  
  
"What are you doing?"   
  
My head snapped up with a start, the voice - even being Martin's - startled me. Wow, I didn't even feel his smell coming. That was new... "What?" I asked confused.  
  
"What are you doing?" He stopped closer, inside my bedroom.  
  
"I'm having a little war with this lovely thing." I didn't look at him as I spoke, still struggling with my boot. Suddenly as if magically, that stupid thing was out of my foot. Ahhh... fresh air.. Err... "See? Done." I stood and walked up to him. "Shouldn't you be making dinner?"   
  
He crept his arms around my waist and pulled me closer. "Yeah." He breathed out, right on my face, his warm breathe on my lips, then his lips found the fragile flesh of my earlobe and he ran his tongue along its loops and whorls. Again. I shuddered from the sensation. Was I seeing some kind of fetish here?  
  
"Martin..."   
  
"Yeah?"   
  
I pulled my face away from his hungry lips and smiled at him. "Dinner?"   
  
"Not hungry."   
  
I giggled, yes I giggled and I didn't have a problem with giggles anymore. I was giggling, so what? And leaned closer to him again. "Me neither." I whispered just before joining our lips.  
  
* * *   
  
He tightened his arms around me as I snuggled into him, then kissed the top of my head. His bare skin was so soft, even to a man, and I loved the feel of it against my own. I loved his touch, the way he touched me was always so gentle and loving, so careful when I am in his arms. He had strong and male hands, always ready to be hard when needed, but they turned into soft caresses when I was around.  
  
"I love you." He whispered in my ear, sending an electric chill through my body.  
  
I let out a deep breathy sigh as a smile broke across my face and linked our hands. Hearing him saying the words was so magic; it was like the first time ever. Every time he said them I felt like it was the first time. I'd never stop being amazed by this. I hoped not. "Me too."   
  
I felt him nuzzling his face in my hair and breathing in deeply. I had to smile at his attempt to feel my scent better. It wasn't funny; it was just that I always did the same thing. The fingers of the hand linked with mine were gently caressing my own hand, making goose bumps form on my skin. The other hand was around my shoulders and over my arm, like a second skin and this hand was caressing me too.   
  
I had nothing. For a long time I had nothing, only my job and failed attempts to date losers. Then Jack came along and filled a hole in my life. Or that was what I thought. He hadn't really filled it, he was only like a blanket put over the hole and covered with leaves to look like the real ground. That's all he always was, a faked sense of security.   
  
I had nothing and suddenly I got everything I ever wanted. I didn't know for sure if Martin was my real safe ground, but I felt it, I felt it was real. "Promise me you'll never gonna stop loving me."   
  
"I promise." He said immediately, without thinking, without doubt. He tightened his arms even more around me. "Forever."   
  
Forever. He will love me forever.  
  
* * *  
  
"Samantha?"   
  
"Yes?"  
  
Viv lifted a paper and waved it in front of her to catch my attention. "Come take a look at this."  
  
I put my mug down and got up from my chair, walking quickly to her. Maybe it was a clue to help finding our missing person. "What is it?" I asked leaning over her to look at the paper.  
  
"Do you remember where Rebecca said Patrick goes to vacation?"   
  
"Yeah, somewhere in Maine." Viv raised her eyebrows and handed me the paper. She had that look in her eyes that said she found something really important. I took the paper and turned it over, reading through it. When I reached where I was supposed to, my eyes widened and hope filled inside. "Maine." I looked back at her.   
  
"Exactly."   
  
"We need to tell Jack."   
  
Viv grabbed her telephone and pushed the speed dial. She quickly told Jack about her discovery, which I won't get in details right now, and hung up. "He's calling a team there."   
  
"I hope they find Michelle." She was only ten year old and was kidnapped for 38 hours now and her parents were worried to death. Viv nodded, a clear sign she agreed and her eyes slightly went away from mine to look at something behind me. By the look on her face when she did that, a welcoming feeling came inside of me. I knew it was Martin because only him could make me feel like that.   
  
"Hey."  
  
His soft voice sent a tingle down my body and for a second I was frozen in place. I turned my head to the side and gave him a smile that formed over my lips as soon as I felt his smell. "Hey."   
  
He smiled back at me and put a hand on my back. For what I don't know, but why would I care? His touches were always welcome. "Any news?"   
  
"Yes." Viv spoke first and I handed him the paper. "We got a clue in Maine and we think Michelle might be there."   
  
"Jack's calling a team there."  
  
"That's good." He let out an obvious sigh of relief and handed me the paper back. "I'll go get some coffee."   
  
"Ok." He smiled at me and walked away. I watched as he walked further and further away only wishing he would come back and touch me again. That he could be by my side all the time, every waking hour. I already thought about him every waking hour and having him by my side would only increase my happiness.  
  
"Things are pretty good between you two, huh?"   
  
I looked startled at her, her voice bringing me back from my 'thinking of Martin 24/7' state. I focused back on her and wanted to slap my head to see if maybe my brain could register her words quicker. "Yeah." I looked down, smiling at my hands as thoughts of him came back to my mind.  
  
"I'm happy for you, Sam. I really am."  
  
I raised my head and stared at her for a second or two, taking in the impact of her words. I never knew someone being happy for me could feel so important, that my happiness was something someone would be glad for. "Thanks, Viv."   
  
She gave me a warm smile and put a hand on my shoulder, squeezing it tightly. "I've never seen you so happy before and we know each other for years now."   
  
I shrugged, not knowing what really to say. Words formed but I couldn't get them out correctly, I didn't know the right words to say, but you know, the simplest things are the easiest. As Martin's name run on my mind, I smiled at my own words. "I never loved someone so much in my life."   
  
She tilted her head and I saw something sparkling in her eyes. "I can tell."   
  
I giggled and looked down shyly, I could feel the blush coming. Love is... is an emotion that catch us unprepared; it makes us laugh when we are unhappy and cry when we want to be tough. Martin's love caught me from the deep bottom of a hole and brought me back up. Love doesn't make the world spin, or better or even less dangerous. It only makes worthy living in it.   
  
The feel of Martin's love came inside me with such strength that I felt like I could die for it, of it. It supported me when I felt as if the world was falling apart. When I felt myself falling apart.   
  
His love was a light come from Heaven. And I was thankful for it.  
  
* * *   
  
I stirred and sighed deeply as I did so. I reached out one hand searching for some sign of warm skin so I could snuggle into it and get more comfortable. But what do I find? Yeah, exactly, not Martin. Only cold sheets. I opened one eye and through it I checked if it was true what my hand felt.. or didn't felt. Yup, no Martin. I opened the second eye just to make sure and there was no Martin indeed.   
  
I sat up with a start and looked around as my confused sleepy mind went back to work. What the hell was happening? I mean, I was lying in bed and very naked but no Martin with me. See what's wrong in the picture? Hmm... Waking up without Martin when I had slept with him was really pissing me off...  
  
I pulled the covers away and the different degree from the room hit my skin. It wasn't cold but I had no clothes on plus I was under warm covers, so... I got up and, searching for something to put on I found Martin's red tee shirt on the floor. Ahhhhh, just what I needed. I smiled to myself and put in on. It smelled like him.  
  
As soon as I opened the bedroom door I felt the slight smell of cinnamon and eggs and, of course, coffee. So, Martin woke up early to make breakfast? Hmm, I should have stayed in bed... "What are you doing?" I stood at the kitchen door with both hands on my hips, though I kind of got a little lost looking at Martin's bare chest while he was in only sweatpants.  
  
He looked at me with that look which said 'are you retard' or something like that. "...Breakfast...?" He said, or asked.. or whatever... he could be confusing sometimes, and looked down at the food.   
  
I rolled my eyes and walked to him. "No. I mean, why are you here instead of in bed with me?"  
  
He gave me one of his boyish smiles and I felt my legs turning unto jelly. Damn it... I thought I was past that already, but obviously not... And stretched out one hand. "Come here."   
  
I stood closer and gladly wrapped my arms around his waist before he could do anything first. "...Morning" I murmured just before kissing his bare chest. Oh God, it smelled just as good as always... I rested my head over it softly and let myself enjoy the proximity. Hmmm.... so soft...  
  
"Morning." He whispered in my ear and kissed it softly.  
  
"I missed you."   
  
He chuckled softly, his breath right on my hair, tickling it. "I missed you too."   
  
I tightened my arms around him and nuzzled my face in his neck, breathing in his soft scent... speaking of which... "What are you doing? It smells good."   
  
He placed a small kiss on my forehead and let me go, going back to do whatever he was doing. "Eggs and beacon to me and cinnamon toast to you."   
  
"Cinnamon toast?" I asked with perplexed face and voice. That's the first time I had ever heard about it. Ok, so it was a little exaggerated... I had heard of it, of course. That was the first time I'd eat it. Hmm, see, better sentence.   
  
"Yup. Oh, and coffee."   
  
Ohh, coffee, my so loved coffee. After the last time I woke up and there was no coffee in the machine Martin learned his lesson. I was so pissed that he had that look of fear on his face and a expression that he would rather jump from the balcony of my apartment from the seventh floor than stay with me in the same room. No coffee = a very pissed Samantha Spade. And like I said before, I can be very scary and Martin found out in the worst way.   
  
"Do you wanna help me?"  
  
I smiled at him and nodded. He opened his arms and mentioned me to stand in front of him and so I did. He put his arms around me, leaning his body really close, using his hands to hold mine and teach me how to do what he was doing. Like I didn't know...   
  
Whatever... I was in his arms again, feeling his scent again. Everything was good. Nothing else in the world mattered. I leaned back to put more pressure between our bodies and closed my eyes because of the wonderful sensation.   
  
Ohhh, the world was a wonderful place to live...  
  
* * * 


	4. Chapter Four

~*~  
  
Chapter Four  
  
~*~  
  
I let out a big sigh of pleasure when Martin pressed the right spot on my foot. His gentle hands worked on my feet, doing their little magic as it took me to wonderland. If you were the one having the wonderful sensation of having Martin's magic fingers on your feet you'd know what I'm talking about.   
  
I shifted to support better my neck, which was starting to hurt, putting more of my legs over Martin's. "Uncomfortable?" He whispered that husky and sensuous voice of his, which, damn it turned me on immediately.   
  
"No, my... ahh..." I got lost for a moment, forgetting what I was going to say for focusing on his handsome face and soothing fingers instead of my words. I shook my head slightly. "My neck was hurting, but I'm fine now."   
  
"Good." He nodded and focused back on my feet. Did he know how damn good that was? Jesus Christ...  
  
He rubbed my feet gently for a few more seconds and slowly started to bring his hands up. One of them held my ankle firmly but just enough to keep it in place, that I could take my leg from him anytime. The other slowly reached up, sliding along my leg, caressing my skin, getting weak moans and sighs from me. But suddenly he stopped moving his hand and I opened my eyes (which, of course, were already closed.) to look at him and complain why the hell he had stopped.  
  
He had that look in his eyes, lost, painful. Confused by his sudden change of mood I looked down at his hand, searching for any clue and finding exactly the reason of it.   
  
As he slid his hand up, my...his... tee shirt went up, revealing a scar, keeper of a lot of bad and painful memories, from when I got shot. A scar that'd never fade away. And consequently the memories of it.   
  
His fingers were softly running up and down that small scar, I could feel then shivering and knew why. Though the moment was the same, the reasons for the fear were different from when I remembered of it. I'm sure his fears were from losing me and mine... well, mine were of losing the nothing I had in my life, losing my own life, even if I had nothing to live for.   
  
I straightened and put my hand over his, holding it and stopping its moves. "Martin..." I could do nothing but whisper, afraid that anything else would scare him, even it being stupid.   
  
He looked at me and I saw his eyes glistening, holding a little more glow than usually, what made me believe it was tears. And I was right for half a second later a lonely salty drop ran down his cheek and as quickly as it came he wiped it away.  
  
"Oh baby." I let out with a breath, feeling my heart ache by seeing him in such sad state. I remember perfectly fine how I felt; the moment I got shot... my heart was shattered. Ripped apart, I felt like I was dead... lonely. And that's how I felt... alone. I was all by myself. It felt cold... hard... dark.   
  
I could only imagine how it must have felt to Martin. To see me like that, see me crying in the ambulance, trying to comfort me at the hospital when himself was breaking inside.   
  
I came closer, straddling his lap and wrapped my arms around him, hoping to give him the same strength and comfort his own arms always gave me. "It's all right. It's all over."   
  
"I know." He whispered; his voice muffled by my shoulder, where his face was resting after he embraced me back. "I just..." He trailed off, words failing, and let out a deep breath, tightening his arms around me. "I felt really scared."   
  
"Shh." I kissed his forehead and let my lips rest on his warm skin for a while.   
  
"I wasn't really afraid of losing you.." He slowly whispered the words out and I was actually surprised. I pulled away enough to look at him and he pulled away too, at the same time, so us both were staring at each other. "I was afraid of losing you without telling you how I really felt."   
  
I tilted my head and squinted my eyes as I kept staring at him. "Why you never told me, then?"   
  
He shrugged as he let out a breathy chuckle and put one hand on my cheek. "I wanted it to be in the perfect moment. And you did it first." He gave me a lovely, seet smile, which shone line the sun, making his face glow and his wet cheek look like diamond.   
  
I tilted my head again, leaning it in his touch. We had said the words, that's what really mattered now, not who did it first. We should look ahead, look to our future, to what we'd build together and stop looking back. I put my hand over Martin's, where it lay on my leg, right over my scar and pressed it softly.  
  
"It's in the past and we can't change it." I held his hand and brought it to my chest, placing it over my pounding heart. "Now all we can do is look for the future. What we're gonna do together. No regrets, no doubts, no pain as long as we can help it."   
  
He smiled again as he pressed his hand firmly on my chest. "None of that. Even if we can't help it. I promise."   
  
"... and getting shot was a good thing, anyway." I said, trying to break the thick tension. He raised one eyebrow questioningly and waited I finish my sentence. "Because it made me open my eyes and see whom I really love. And also for remembering how temporary life is and how important it is to live it. I forget that most of the time."  
  
He kissed his fingers and put them over my scar "I do, too." then he cupped my face with his hands and gently pulled it closer to him and placed a small, child-like kiss on my lips. Then he pulled it back again and stared at me for a long, long time as if he was studying my face, every line and expression. "I love you." He finally let out, breathing the words out.   
  
I couldn't stop a smile, one he always gave me when he said the words, to break across my face. I put my own hands above his and leaned in to kiss him. "I love you too." I whispered onto his mouth, as I looked deeply into his eyes, trying to make him understand how much he meant to me, if not by words, by the simple stare of my eyes.  
  
* * *  
  
I tapped the bottom of my pen on the wood of my desk several times, trying a failed attempt to re-do the melody of a random song. I was bored to death...   
  
I looked around to check on the people and see what they were doing. Maybe it would give an idea of what to do myself. Danny was talking animatedly on the phone... Maybe a new girlfriend? Viv was filling some reports... humm... no, no reports to me for the rest of the year... I had just finished doing my share of it. Jack was gone, no idea where to and Martin... hmm... good question... Martin wasn't around.   
  
I whirled, maybe I had just lost him, but he was nowhere to be seen. Damn... Martin was the only one who could get me out of this boring boredom and he wasn't even around. And where could he be, anyway? Martin, honey, where art thou? I asked myself as I looked around, searching for him.  
  
I sighed deeply and gave up on my Martin haunt. Stupid boredom... I looked down and my eyes caught a glimpse of my cell phone, peacefully resting over the desk. Well, he probably had his cell on... I pushed the speed dial and brought the phone to my ear.   
  
"What's the problem, Sam?" He asked with a slight hint of chuckle in his voice. Damn him and that stupid caller's number on the cell...  
  
"I'm bored..." I kind of whined and took my pen back to play with it.   
  
"And this is my problem because..."  
  
"I'm your girlfriend and it's your duty to entertain me."   
  
"Since when?"   
  
"Well, you're supposed to love me, support me and etc etc in good and bad moments etc etc."   
  
The line went dead for a couple of seconds and soon Martin's voice filled my ear again. "Isn't that if we were married?" He asked with a soft laugh.   
  
"What's the difference? The feelings are the same as far as I know... Well, sometimes when you get married your feelings grow smaller."   
  
He laughed in the other end again and the soft melody of it filled my ears, making a smile break across my face. "All right Samantha, I'll be there as soon as I can."   
  
"Thank you." I sang to him. "And where are you, anyway?"   
  
"Out."   
  
"Really? I hadn't noticed..." I rolled my eyes and scoffed. Martin needed a slap on the head sometimes...  
  
"I just had to pick up some things and since I had nothing to do..."   
  
"All right. And please, don't take too long to come. You may find a dead federal agent."   
  
"Don't worry. I love you too much to let such thing happen."   
  
"Mmmm... Me too. I love you too."   
  
"I need to hung up now. Bye."   
  
"Bye." I hung up my own cell phone and sighed. I would be dead of boredom before Martin arrived...  
  
* * *  
  
So, I just need to cut this stuff and mix everything together and wait until the pasta was ready to take it out of the pan. No problem there... No one. But to someone who hated the kitchen and the kitchen hated this someone a lot of problems could come up. Damn... how was I supposed to do a whole dinner without blowing up my kitchen...?   
  
My thoughts were interrupted by a sharp knock at my apartment door. I closed the pan and approached it, my heart already beating quicker, me wishing it was Martin, and called out "Who is it?"  
  
"Martin."  
  
I felt my breath coming in very slowly and my heart pounding even more quickly. The sound of his voice had woken up the butterflies in me. I wiped my hands on my jeans and opened the door.  
  
He offered me one of his boyish smiles as he greeted me. "Hi."  
  
"Hi yourself" I smiled back at him and leaned in to give Martin a quick welcoming kiss. "What are you doing here?"  
  
He brushed past me, removing his jacket and threw it on the couch with the ease of someone who is quite comfortable in his surroundings. It pleased me. It pleased me to see the intimacy we were getting, to see the evolution of our relationship and for seeing we still were up and not shaken. We were still happy. And even if seemed stupid for you, to me, it was amazing.   
  
I straightened and went back to the kitchen.   
  
"I just wanted to see you." I heard him saying from the living area and heard his footsteps coming closer. "Smells good, what're you making?"  
  
"I've got some pasta and sauce cooking, just making a salad.... do you want some? I could throw in some more pasta-"  
  
"Sure, that would be great..." I felt something in his voice and could feel a smile forming "...I'm starving."  
  
I eyed him curiously and tried to keep a smile from forming over my own lips, then turned back to the food. "Don't be so excited. You know I hate cooking and this will probably taste horrible."   
  
As soon as the words left my mouth I felt his arms around me and he slipped his hands over mine. I stiffened and held my breath. His closeness was already affecting me. "You want some help with that, then?" he whispered in my ear and gently tightened his hold on the hand holding the knife and began slicing a tomato slowly.  
  
I was shivering with desire against his chest; I could smell the familiar scent of his skin; which wasn't helping... the chemistry between us was overwhelming... Before I knew what was happening, there he was, kissing my neck. He stepped closer against me and, Jesus, now I could feel him against my back and it was all I could do to keep myself from falling to the floor.   
  
I closed my eyes and leaned back as a deep sigh escaped my lips. I let go of the knife and tomato, making his hand let they go, too and turned around so I was facing him. I darted my face up to join our lips and kissed him with all the passion I felt. I don't know exactly when, but some time later I felt his hands already around my waist pulling me closer.   
  
I pulled my lips away as the necessity to breath became too strong to ignore. I stared at him and he stared back at me with that... gleam in his eyes and I couldn't stop a smile from forming. I took his hand in mine and led him to my bedroom.   
  
That was the end of our night and, again, it would happen without dinner or even enough food inside our stomaches...  
  
* * *   
  
"Hey you."   
  
The soft melody of his voice stopped me immediately, freezing my body with ecstasy and making my heart pound three times stronger in my chest. I had a smile already on and just his presence made - still made - my hands sweat and butterflies fly in me. It was a good thing. I was happy he still had such effect on me, that same one from the first time...  
  
I whirled my chair to face him and stood. "Hey yourself." I tilted my head and brought one hand up to play with his lapel as I stared at him, trying to stop my legs from shaking.  
  
"I have something for you."   
  
"Oh, you do?"  
  
"Yes." He nodded and stuck his hand inside his pockets. My hand fell from his lapel as his came up with a velvet box. He handed me the box and with trembling fingers - well, yeah. A gift from Martin is always exciting. - I took it. I was just nervous, you know. It was from Martin and whatever it was; it was special.   
  
I carefully opened the box and my eyes widened automatically, even if it should close by the light coming from the box. Err, sorry.. I am overreacting, but seriously, it made my fingers tremble even more. I took the golden chain from the box and held it in front of me. "Martin..." No words, just the whispered call of his name. No words formed in my mouth, even less in my brain. It was frozen.   
  
"It's just something I saw and thought it'd like." He shrugged half proud half embarrassed. I think he wasn't sure how to react.   
  
"It's beautiful." I whispered because my voice was failing me and hugged him. It was a golden piece, with two shaped hearts interlaced with a small red gem in the middle of each. The hearts were held by a small plaque that was held by the chain itself. I turned it around and 'FOREVER' was written in the back of the plaque.   
  
God, that was so beautiful. I couldn't find the right words to describe it. I couldn't even think of the words... And I wasn't entirely surprised by the gold object in my hands, but big part was by Martin's gesture, but the sweetness of the man I gladly loved. The man, who, fortunately loved me back with as much - or maybe more - power that I loved him.   
  
"Let me put it on."   
  
I handed him the necklace and turned around, my back facing him. Lifting my hair to take it from my neck and exposing my skin to him, he put the necklace around my neck and I shivered when the cold chain - instead of his warm lips, as I wished - touched my skin. "Cold." I whispered.  
  
"We can fix that." He whispered back, but right in my ear and, as if he had read my mind, I felt his lips on my skin, decreasing the cold with his warmth. He placed small, gentle kissed along the chain, over my neck. I closed my eyes as he did so, wishing we were somewhere else so I could kiss him back with as much passion as I wanted...   
  
I let out a small moan of pleasure and Martin chuckled, stopping his kisses - which I silently cursed - and rested his chin on my right shoulder as he crept his arms around my waist. I sighed and leaned back. "I love you."   
  
He chuckled again and kissed my ear. "Me too." He whispered. "And you're too easy." He mocked putting more pressure on the hold he had on my waist.  
  
Me, easy? What the hell was he talking about? Easy my ass... Samantha Spade can be anything, but easy! I'm not easy, not at all... Apfsh... easy, right... Martin was the one who had that effect on me and if I was easy - if I was - it was all his fault. His fault alone that I didn't have control over my body when he was around.  
  
I opened my mouth to argue, but another voice stopped me. "Hey, lovebirds." I looked up and found Danny a few meters from us with a very amused smile on. "Jack's calling, so you could stop this lovely foreplay and join us. We have a job to do." He flashed us a smirk and winked at me, or us, or whatever and walked away.   
  
I could feel my cheeks burning and sense getting in my brain again. Oh My God... we were doing that right in the middle of the bullpen?? Oh My God... please, God, no one saw this, please...   
  
And anyway, was Danny watching us or something? Danny was really over us... Since Martin and I got together he was always around us, asking questions and wanting to know things about us. I think he still didn't believe we were together. Poor Danny, I internally giggled, he didn't know anything...  
  
Martin sighed and took his arms from around me. "Come on. Let's go before Danny comes back." I nodded and he took my hand to lead the way.  
  
* * * 


	5. Chapter Five

~*~  
  
Chapter Five  
  
~*~  
  
I took the necklace from under my blouse and showed it to Lisa. "He gave me this." I had that big proud smile over my lips as I happily talked about the gift.   
  
"It's really beautiful."   
  
I nodded. "It is."  
  
"You must be very happy."  
  
I nodded again and wrapped my hands around the hearts. "I am."   
  
"This is good Samantha. I mean it."   
  
"I know." Ok, now seriously, I should stop these almost monosyllabic sentences. I was sounding retard...  
  
"Do you know how much you have improved since you started talking about Martin?"   
  
I stared at her for two or three seconds then brought my eyes down as I shrugged. If I knew? I couldn't tell. I wasn't paying attention to it. She was the therapist, not me. She was the one who should notice things. I shrugged again and shook my head. "No."   
  
"Well," Her tone of voice, one that said 'I have a serious thing to tell you' made me look back at her. Oh boy, was she going to say something bad? She joined her hands together and put them over her crossed legs. "You're being amazingly open with me and this happened after you started seeing Martin."   
  
I stared at her and squinted my eyes. I let go of the hearts I was still holding and leaned back on the couch, putting my hands over my lap. "So?"   
  
She smiled at me in that way a mother did to her daughter after hearing about her crush and the mother was about to tell the wonderful thing love was. For a reason unknown to me it made my heart warm with a good and strange feeling. "Samantha, all you talk about is he. In every session the hot topic of our conversation was Martin." She un-crossed her legs and leaned in, closer to me. "I've never seen you smiling so much before and so willing to talk about something."   
  
I shrugged, well... again. "Because it's Martin. Because..."   
  
"... He makes you happy."   
  
I nodded. Yes, he makes me happy.  
  
* * *  
  
"Samantha?"   
  
I stopped writing and looked up, meeting Jack's eyes. "Yes?"   
  
"Have you finished this yet?" He asked pointing to the pile of paper over the table.   
  
I looked back down and nodded pushing some of the papers to his direction. "This part, yes."   
  
He walked closer to take the papers but when he touched it, instead of walking back to his office he stayed still beside me. Though I was looking back to the papers I was searching through I could feel his hesitance and after a while something finally came out. "I'm happy for you."   
  
I looked up at him startled and a bit confused. I shouldn't be really startled because after his hesitance I knew something I wouldn't expect from him could happen. But I eventually smiled at Jack. "Thanks."   
  
"I mean it. Martin is..." His bit his lip, something I never saw him doing, and looked away from me, but only for a second then his eyes met mine again. "... Exactly what you needed."   
  
I smiled again both for him actually saying this and the truth of his words. "I know." I nodded and he smiled at me.  
  
"I've never seen you glowing so much before. And I'm glad to see this."   
  
"Yeah..." I whispered as I brought my eyes to the hand holding my pen. "You find the best things in the last place you'd look for them."   
  
He chuckled and finally grabbed all the papers, bringing them to his chest. "Always a surprise. And to think you didn't like him at first..." He said as he kept on chuckling.   
  
"It's not that I didn't like him. I just didn't..." I started to argue because you know I never let people think things about me that aren't true but Jack cut me off with another slight chuckle.  
  
"All right, Sam, it doesn't matter anymore, anyway." He gave me a smirk and walked away, back to his office. I watched him as he walked each moment farther away.   
  
I smiled to myself as I kept thinking about Martin and the wonderful moment we were having. He just made me feel so good about myself and threw all my worries away when he came into view. I love the relationship we have. It was more than I could ask for actually. He's so understanding with me and that's beyond wonderful because it's been a while since a man was like that with me. He's just... Martin. My boyfriend. The person I was in love with.  
  
* * *  
  
"You know what?" I asked him as he unlocked his apartment door, but it was a rhetorical question because I didn't wait Martin answer and keep on talking. "I was thinking and came to the conclusion we should go play mini golf again."   
  
He stopped in the middle of hanging my coat, giving me a quizzical look. "You're kidding, right?"   
  
"Of course not." He put my coat where it should be and started chuckling very slightly then soon it turned into a laugh. "What?" What was wrong with him? I was here, serious, asking - better - telling him something that was on my mind and he laugh at me? What kind of boyfriend is that? "You shouldn't be laughing. I'm your girlfriend! You should have more respect for me." I crossed my arms over my chest and gave him my so known very faked pout.   
  
"After the last time, I thought you'd never even mention this again." He crossed his arms too as he stood in front of me and didn't give any sign that my cute pout was affecting him. Damn it... that was the bad thing about your boyfriend/girlfriend; after a while they know all about you and the faked things you used to do before to win things don't work anymore.   
  
But I am Samantha Spade and I'm not one of giving in. I held my pout firmly in place, trying to melt his heart with my faked hurt expression. "Just because you cheated before doesn't mean you'd do that again. Right? I mean, I didn't think you'd be such a bastard to the point of cheating again."   
  
He chuckled again and uncrossed his arms and took two steps towards me. "Ok, honey, let's get this straight: no more of mini golf, all right?" He half asked half stated in a way that he was sure I'd agree and put one hand on my face to hold it in place and lean in to kiss my pout. Oo, so that still worked, huh...  
  
And he thought with a kiss he would end the conversation... Ok, it did end the conversation but didn't change my mind... though I didn't think of it while he lead me to the bedroom. And while we were in there.  
  
* * *  
  
"So, again. How did exactly you convince me to come?" He asked with that little annoyed tone in his voice as he waved the golf club around to emphasize his words, I think...   
  
"Because I'm cute and gorgeous and you can't say no to me." I smirked and flirtatiously winked at him, which brought a smile to his lips and I smiled back.   
  
He shook his head and walked to me, using the club playfully as a cane. He brought his face close to mine, too close for the matter, no complaints of course and whispered onto my mouth, "You are gorgeous indeed and how can I say no to something like you?" Then placed his lips among mine for a very brief second, kissing me softly.   
  
"Nice way to say I won."   
  
"To both of us I may add."   
  
"Do you think they'll mind if we make out here?"   
  
"As long as we're paying, don't think so."   
  
"Good." I nodded slightly and joined our lips again but parted them away before our tongues could have any contact and make me forget the world around me. We would end up being expulse from here and told to never come back again.   
  
Martin gave me a quick kiss on the head and while I closed my eyes, or so he thought, he kicked the ball...   
  
Ohhhhhh, how could him?? There will be a slaughter anytime... Bastard! He will see who cheat better. I am Samantha Spade and my name tells all. I'll show him who he was messing with.   
  
* * *   
  
He stepped behind me and helped me to take my coat off, his fingers slightly brushing my skin sent that electric shill along my spine, that one you felt like you were frozen and couldn't move even if would save your life. I closed my eyes and tried to breath in and out normally, in small, necessary breathes. Then, when the short freezing moment was over, he hung my coat on the hook beside the door and took his own coar off.  
  
"What do you want for dinner?"   
  
"Huh?" I think I was still up in the clouds because I heard his voice but my brain didn't registered his words.   
  
He gave me that small, cute look and smiled a sweet smile. "Dinner. I asked what do you want for dinner."   
  
"Oh." I smiled back and a small chuckle escaped from my mouth then I shrugged. "I don't know. Anything is good for me."   
  
He stepped closer and placed a soft kiss on my head. I closed my eyes as the warmth of his lips touched my forehead, almost making my skin burn. "I think I have lasagna." He whispered and both his arms sneaked around my waist.  
  
"Sounds good to me." I whispered back and let my eyes fall over his mouth, bitting my lip as the desire of feeling it over my own became stronger. Then, in the middle of his 'good' I darted my head up, joining our lips and kissing him as if the last time I had tasted his mouth had been an eternity ago.   
  
The hands around my waist gently moved up, under my silk shirt, until he felt the hem of my bra and forcefully his fingers stopped the soft caresses along my skin. I felt burning holes everywhere his fingers touched and before I could fall to the floor due to my jelly legs, I put my hands on his shoulders, steading myself and pulling him to me. Soon one hand came out from under my shirt and was placed on my face, keeping me in place and stucking his fingers in my hair.  
  
His lips played with me, he gently nibbled and sucked at my lower lip and his tongue played with my own. Oh, God. This was so good. The feel of his skin on mine, his lips on mine, everything was so good. It was so Heavenly. And.. damn, I needed to breath.   
  
I pulled away slowly, gathering the courage to let his lips go. "It was a tough day." I said after a pause, breathing in hard and rying to get back all my air.   
  
"Oh yeah." He whispered back breathless too. He put one rebel lock of my air behind my ear and stared at me for a few seconds, a smile softly breaking across his face then he became serious. "God, I love you so much." He whispered again.   
  
"Me too." I nodded and licked my lips. I could still taste him. "I love you too." I smiled and leaned in, resting my head on his shoulder and tried to get all my strength back. Sweet Lord, how can a single kiss hold so much force, so much emotion? How could I get lost with one single kiss of him? I don't know if it was really possible, but everytime we kissed I felt all my inside coming out, everything in my going to him. It was like I sucked his soul to me and he sucked mine. I giggled out of nowhere and pulled him away. "Go make dinner now."   
  
He smiled and kissed my lips softly. "All right, ma'am." He mocked and walked to his kitchen. I loved his place. It smelled like him, it had his clothes and his things. Everything his. Nothing better than to be in the place where you feel as if you were home.   
  
* * * 


	6. Chapter Six

Read and review, pretty please.  
  
~*~  
  
Chapter Six  
  
~*~  
  
A couple of months later...  
  
I couldn't stop hiccupping as I watched him open my apartment door for us since I was too... drunk I guess, to do it and I couldn't stop laughing hysterically for no apparent reason in between my hiccups. As soon as the door was open and I stepped in, my body became limp and I collapsed on the floor. He laughed by seeing my own laughs, I think and I tried to tell him to shut up between my laughs.   
  
I closed my eyes trying to restrain more laughs from coming out and felt warm and strong arms lift me from the floor. I opened my eyes again and was met with Martin's sweet face, smiling down at me. With all my power, even through my dizziness, I got to open my mouth and tell; "I love you." though came out slurred words.   
  
He bent down and placed a gently kiss over my alcoholic tasty lips. "I love you too." He whispered after taking his lips away, what made me very mad and with all the strength I had left I lifted my hand to put it on the back of his neck and bring his head down. He planted his lips over mine and, closing my eyes, I gave into him and moved my mouth with his.  
  
Please, God, remember me to never drink so much again when all we are having is a couple of drinks after work.   
  
* * *  
  
A smile slowly crept up on my face as he nuzzled his face in my neck and kissed it softly just before letting out a small sigh. He tightened his arms around me and snuggled closer and this time I let out a small sigh. "I love you." He whispered just below my ear.   
  
"Move in with me." I whispered back instead of the classic reply and I think I startled him because he let go of my body and shifted so he was almost on top of me, looking me in the eye.  
  
"What?"   
  
"Come live with me." I said again but now a hint of nervousness escaped with my voice. I don't know where that question came from, it just suddenly came out, suddenly escaped between my lips and then I couldn't undo this. I could blame my drunken mind but it wasn't as drunk now as it was and I actually was thinking very clearly. And anyway, actually I didn't really want to undo this. I wanted him with me every waking moment and more. I wanted him here, with me all the time. I wanted him...   
  
I don't want to need him like this, I treacherously thought. And then another thought immediately contradicted the first one. It had been a long time, perhaps never, since I had needed anyone like I needed him. Perhaps my true weakness all this time had been never allowing myself to. I was still strong in sprit, opinionated and intelligent. Loving Martin would change none of those things. I wouldn't let it, not as long as I had breath in my body. Needing him could be the strong thing instead of the weakiness I always thought it was. Needing him could be my salvation from the dark place instead being the one thing that would send me to there.  
  
I looked expectantly at him, waiting for his response. I was always so reticent, expressing need, and one that didn't involve being left alone. There was no way he could refuse, because if he did I'd probably never make such an offer again, as proud as I am and he knew that.   
  
Soon, even under the darkness of the bedroom, I saw him smiling, giving me one of his sweet smiles. He leaned down and placed a soft kiss on my lips and pulled away just enough to look in my eyes. "That's a good idea." He whispered as one hand went to my face and traced the contour of it, softly caressing my cheeks with his fingers.   
  
I closed my eyes out of reflex of his touch and nodded, agreeing with him. "Yeah, I mean, you're always here and when you're not I'm at your place. We're always together."   
  
"We are." He whispered in my ear and softly kissed it then moved his lips slowly across my cheek to finally find my lips and stop there. He kissed me with such softness and love that made me amazed. "I love you." He whispered breathless after pulling his lips away.  
  
"I love you too." This time I said the right words as a reply. Gosh, I loved him so much. Much more than I never thought I could love someone. I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him, to wake up every morning with his rhythmic breath and warm body beside me, to have his scent, his perfume in my sheets, my pillow, my house; everywhere.   
  
I just needed him more than I needed my own life. And this scared me, scared the shit out of me because I never needed anyone or anything so badly in my life. And as I said to Lisa once, I didn't really expect it, but things happen that you don't expect to.  
  
I didn't expect such powerful love for Martin. But now I'm glad it did happen.  
  
* * *   
  
'Fights with ex-husband' I wrote on the white board and closed the pen. "The husband is always the first suspect." I muttered to myself but I think I muttered too loud for Jack sighed and stood.   
  
"Because when the wife disappear everybody thinks the husband has something do to with it."   
  
"Maybe she just wanted to get away."   
  
"Maybe." Jack nodded and instead of going to do what he had todo he kept staring at me. Jesus, how I hate when people do that. He knew that very well.  
  
"What?" I couldn't stop all the anger from my voice, so it came out with a hint of it.   
  
He shook his head and opened his mouth to say something but right then Danny came and put a pile of paper with a loud thud over the table. "From Elisa's telephone. All the numbers she called in the last three months."   
  
"Wow, she does know a lot of people." I exclamed looking surprised at the amount of papers. Oh my god, how could someone use the phone so much? And, oh my god, it was a LOT of paper. I should find something to do real quick before I was voluntaried to run through her phone numbers.   
  
"Have fun." Danny smirk and quickly turned to walk away and Jack did the same, quiclky going to his office before I could argue with him.   
  
"No way, Danny. I'm already busy." Son of a bitch... he's not going to let me doing all that alone. No way.   
  
"I have leg job to do." He called without turning to look at me.   
  
"Bastard..." I muttered under my breath. Bastard...   
  
"What's the problem?"   
  
I whirled immediately and found myself face to face with Martin. I gave him a big relieved smile and pointed at the papers on thwe table. No way in hell I would be the one to do desk job. "You're supposed to run through these papers. It's the telephones Elisa called in the last three months."   
  
"All this?" He asked with the same surprised face I held little while ago.   
  
"Yup." I nodded and grabbed my empty mug of cofee. "Have fun."   
  
"Hey, you're not making me do this alone." He argued, but hey, wasn't he the one who said he couldn't say no to me? I didn't turn, didn't look at him, just kept on walking and soon I heard him sighing. That small sound made my heart ache and found myself feeling bad for him...   
  
Ok, Samantha, focus. Remember, if you turn you'll see his puppy face and will be soon sitting on that table helping him. You do not want that. That's right, I do not want that. Hell, but since when I do as I'm told?   
  
I turned and there he was, face ready to win me... The men in my life are all a bunch of bastards... I'm so damn lucky...  
  
* * *  
  
I looked away from the TV when the telephone rang, catching my attention. I sighed and cursed whoever it was that was disturbing my TV time. Damn person... "Hello?"   
  
"Hey there."   
  
His voice, lovely as ever, filled my ear and sent a shiver down my body. "Hey." I whispered and I'd be whirling the telephone cord around my finger if it wasn't cordless.   
  
"Whatcha doing?"   
  
"Nothing... Well, I was watching TV but you interrupted me..."   
  
"Ohh, sorry 'bout that." He said in a voice that implied he wasn't at all.  
  
"I'd thank you for that if you were really sorry."   
  
"Ouch Samantha. How can you have such suspicion?"   
  
"Oh, please." I laughed and shifted to find a better position. "I was all happy watching Tv in my bed then you called and interrupted me."   
  
"You're in bed? What are you wearing?"   
  
I chuckled, an affectionate smile settling upon my lips, and wearily tucked a piece of golden hair behind my ear. It was way past my bedtime but without Martin with me I just couldn't find sleep. Or it couldn't find me... I had gotten used to Martin sleeping by my side, hearing his heartbeat and his soft breathing, my head on his chest and his face buried in my hair. I missed that.   
  
"Sorry to disappoint you, Martin" I said in a voice pitched just a touch lower than my usual husky timbre, "But if you're looking for an exciting answer to your question, you've   
  
hit the wrong button on your speed dial."  
  
"You're the only number on my speed dial." I smiled and said nothing, not knowing if he meant that literally or figuratively, but I was pleased regardless. "Yours and the Chinese's." He added after a second of silence. "And believe me, anything you're wearing is much more inspiring than that ridiculous uniform the deliver guy uses."   
  
I laughed and let my hand fall over my eyes to softly rub them and make sure no tears would come out. "All right, just to please you, I'm wearing your red tee shirt."   
  
"Ooooo, you kill me."   
  
"I'm not the only one easy here."   
  
"Only with you." He said smoothly, his voice soft and slow. I missed him.   
  
"And what are you doing?"   
  
"Nothing really. Watching TV too. Nothing good on, though."   
  
"Poor Martin." I chuckled out and heard his own chuckle. "It's past eleven, why don't you just go to bed?"   
  
"Mmm. I know I should, but I can't, my mind refuses to shut down."   
  
"Why? What are you thinking?"   
  
Silence. Then, as if words indeed had been spoken, unbidden, the image of him braced above me, his eyes staring deep into mine, a smile softly playing over his lips as he gently tucked a lock of hair behind me ear and whispered sweet words to me danced before me. I shivered and for a moment, I could almost smell the scent of his skin. Maybe it was just his tee around my body, embracing me as if it was him. I wondered just what picture of me he carried around inside his head.   
  
"Oh."   
  
More silence from him. Or us both. Then he let out a breath and the words came out. "I love you and I miss you."   
  
"Me too." I said back with the voice of a spoiled child, hoping that with that voice the traveling dad would come back earlier. "You've got to move in quickly."   
  
He chukled and I had to chukle too. "You're too needy."   
  
"No, I miss you and you should be flattered."   
  
"Thank you then."   
  
"You're weolcomm...." Just when I was speaking a yawn forced its exit from my mouth, escaping between my lips and ending in Martin's ear. I was getting tired and my eyes were starting to slowly close. Gosh, his voice was lulling me to sleep and I never thought it was possible.  
  
"I should let you go. You're tired."   
  
"Mmmm... I am... but I don't want to let you go."  
  
"You have to. Besides, I'll see you tomorrow morning."   
  
Yeah, tomorrow was Saturday and I'd help him pack his things and he'd finally move in. I felt this big smile spread across my face as I remembered that little fact. "Yeah." Another yawn. "I love you."   
  
"I love you too." He whispered and the line went dead - exept for our breathes - for a second. "Good night."   
  
"Good night." I sighed and hung up. Well, at least now I was tired enough to finally sleep.   
  
* * * 


	7. Chapter Seven

  
  
Chapter Seven

* * *

I shouldn't be rummaging through his stuff without asking first... but hey, I was sleeping with him, so I think I had the free pass to his stuff. And he was packing some stuff in the bedroom anyway.   
  
I opened the top drawer of his desk and began to take things out of there. I was helping him to pack because with me doing this too it would be much quicker and we'd fisnish this sooner. I took some papers, a bunch of keys, a... hey, a camera. We didn't have any photos of us together. How sad this is? Well, I'll fix this right now.  
  
I opened the part where the film was put and it was empty as I expected. I rummaged through the drawer again searching for any roll film that I could use and lucky me, there were a few. I opened one and get the camera ready then walked to the bedroom.   
  
He was really handsome this morning. Not that he was well dressed up, because all he was wearing were an old black jeans and a light blue tee shirt and his hair was all out of place, because now it was big enough to be out of place. Hmmm... he needed a hair cut... His smell... it was so bad I couldn't take his smell with the picture.   
  
He was bent down over the bed, folding clothes and putting them inside a bag and didn't notice when I entered the room. "Hey." I called and as soon as he turned I took a picture of him.   
  
He blinked several times, startled and surprised with the sudden flash of light in his eyes. "What are you doing?"   
  
"We have no pictures together." I smiled and took another one.  
  
"I don't see you in these pictures you're taking."   
  
"It doesn't matter as long as I have enough of yours."   
  
"No way." He said and started walking towards me. "Give me this." He reached out a hand in an obvious ask for the camera. "My turn."   
  
"Nope. I haven't had enough." I took the camera away from his touch and took a step back.   
  
He ran to me and grabbed me before I could even think what was happening and the camera was in his hands before I could feel him taking it from me. He put one arm around my waist and held me to him while the other hand was over my head, stopping me from grabbing the camera back. I started giggling for no real reason, I just... felt it and let it out.   
  
He looked down at me and suddenly everything stopped. My giggles stopped in my throat, his smile faded and his hand dropped, the one holding the camera because the other around my waist was firmly on me. I looked in his eyes and they sparkled, they shone to me again. It always happened when I looked at him and it amazed me.   
  
He leaned in and joined our lips with gentleness and love that I could not, ever, get tired of. I pulled away due to a light and a noise startling me, stopping me from focusing on his mouth. I opened my eyes and stared at Martin, wondering what the hell was that but soon I got it. "Good memorie to have frozen, huh?" He whispered and I let a big smile spread over my lips.  
  
"One of a lot." I whispered back and gave him a quick kiss before taking the camera from him. I put my free hand on his waist, holding him and Martin gently kissed the side of my head and rested his cheek on my hair. When I thought he was ready, I smiled and took one more picture.   
  
And the day went by with us packing his things and taking pictures of us and our surroundings.

* * *

"My God, I had no idea you had so much stuff..." The words slowly made their way out, the tone of my voice letting it be obvious the disbelief I was feeling. I looked around my apartment just to make sure I was really only seeing boxes and bags. No way in hell I'd have space enough to put all of his things...   
  
"I think we need a bigger place..." He whispered carefully, not really looking me in the eye because he knew I'd get what he meant. Move in to another bigger place, together. Our place. I felt this strange feeling running up and down my body. I wished I knew what this meant... I think it was, I don't know... a mix of hesitance, relief, apprehension...  
  
I bit my lip and took a second look around my living room, where most of his stuff was and where I was standing, half looking at him half looking away. My God... was I taking things too quickly? Was I doing things without thinking straight? Was I... What was I doing? Didn't I love him? I mean, we were together about only a few months and I had already asked him to live with me...  
  
"You ok?"   
  
I looked at him with a start and gave Martin a weak smile. "Yeah. Just fine. I was just thinking." I gave him a smile more real and gave me one back then walked to me and gave me a quick kiss on the head.   
  
Walking to the door he stopped only to get his keys from the table. "I have only a few more things in my apartment. I'll be back soon."  
  
"Ok." I nodded and waved as he left.   
  
I felt this nervous shake in my belly and that want to twist my hands or touch something repeatedly. I'd have to talk with Lisa about this. I needed some advice.

* * *

There I was again, twisting my hands and playing with my fingers and nails like I hadn't done for a long while. "Am I doing this too quickly?"   
  
Lisa stared at me for a few seconds than looked down at the small board on her hands and registered something there, then looked back at me. "I don't know, Samantha. Do you feel as if you're doing this too quickly?"   
  
"I don't know!" I yelled out of frustration. I didn't really want to yell, but I just couldn't stop myself. "That's why I'm asking you."   
  
She sighed deeply and smiled at me. "You're just nervous, Samantha. You have never done that before, have you?"   
  
I tapped my fingers on the soft leather couch, thinking back and forth if I should tell her... Fuck it... "When I was 18 I got married and stayed married for a few months."   
  
"And it didn't work..."   
  
I shook my head and laughed nervously. "Of course not. I was 18."   
  
"But you're not 18 anymore. And you're in love with Martin."   
  
"I know, but..."   
  
"You're afraid of this not working either."   
  
I bit my lip to stop tears from falling down my cheeks, but wasn't sucessful for soon they found their way down. "This is just too perfect. I can't let it end. I can't mess it up." I looked at my nails, checking them. You know, I really needed to get my nails done... I sighed and kept looking at my hands. "I can't lose him."   
  
"He loves you, too, doesn't he?" I nodded and she went on, "So what's the problem? I'm sure you two will make this work. Yourself told me you were spending all of your free time together. There's no difference now. Only that his things will be in your apartment."   
  
"I... I know..." I nodded again and let out a breath. I knew that, of course I did. I think I just got a little freaked out... My relationshipes never worked before so I wondered why it would work now. "I know. I think I just panicked."   
  
"You'll be all right. As long as he's with you, Samantha, you don't need anybody else to make you feel better. You should talk to him about this."   
  
"Do you think so?"   
  
She nodded and let a smile form over her lips as she very slightly touched my hand and made them stop their nervous movements. "I'm sure."   
  
You know what? I felt much better after I talked with her. I felt that heavy weight in my chest lighten up and I was breathing more calmly. I really should talk to him about that.

* * *

"Do you want me to unpack your clothes and put them on the bed? This way when you get back you'll only have to put them in the closet and the commode."   
  
"Oh yeah, that'd be great."   
  
"Ok." I said as I tried to support the telephone between my ear and shoulder, using my hands to hold one of the last three bags of clothes and put it over the bed. "I could put them in their places but you should do this then they'd be the way you like."   
  
"Where did I find you?" He said playifully as a chukle escaped from his mouth. "You're just too perfect."   
  
I rolled my eyes and chukled too. Funny, huh? I always thought he was the perfect one. I had talked with him after my conversation with Lisa and as always he was understanding and loving and even asked me if I needed more time, that he could go back to his place without a problem. I didn't want him to. I wanted him to stay and seeing him so... I had this lack of words when it comes down to him, there were no words to describe him... but seeing him acting that way all my fears melted away.   
  
He had so much stuff that we were still unpacking everything and trying to find someplace to put them. Martin had gone to the market to buy some food since I never did that because I lived from take outs and I stayed home, making room for his things. Then I thought about helping him unpacking while he was gone so when he came back there would be less things for him to do. And getting his clothes ready to be put in the closet was one of them.   
  
"Oh, I knew that already, but thank you anyway." I played and heard his soft laugh in the other end then it was mixed with a nock on my door."There's someone on the door." I said as I walked with the phone between my ear and shoulder to the door. "Talk to you later."   
  
"Ok. I'll be back soon. Love you."   
  
"Me too. Bye." I heard his 'bye' and hung up, throwing the phone on the couch as I passed by it. I opened the door without asking who it was first, and for the first time in my life I regretted doing that. As I flew the door open my heart stopped beating immediately and my body just froze in place.   
  
The person outside my apartment looked at me and gave me a weak smile, one that only made me sickened. "Hi Sam." My mother said and with her voice all the pain from the past came along with it and I felt my heart sinking, the pain inside me riping me apart, making fall inside a dark hole. Push me to the ground you know? Rip me apart, make me fell like I'm dead. It'd be way better than seeing the person in front of me. When I had strength enough I pushed the door close but before it could close fully, she put a hand on it, stopping my move and opening the door again. "Don't do this, please. I need to talk to you."   
  
For a reason I knew not, my breath started to come out short and small and I felt a strange pressure in my lungs and a very known burning behind my eyes. "We have nothing to talk about." I said and as if I had opened some kind of door in my eyes with my voice, tears started to find their way down my face. "And it's Samantha." I hissed just before closing the door on her face, not caring if her hand was still on it.   
  
I heard the 'bam' of it echoing through my head and it was making me dizzy. A uncalled sob escaped between my lips and I was quick enough to stop another one. I stumbled to my bedroom and threw myself on the bed, using the pillow to cover my face and stop my tears. And it did help. Soon they had stopped.   
  
I lifted my body enough to reach out a hand and search inside the drawer of the table beside my bed and I found the bottle with white pills. I only took them when the pain was too much and no one was there to look after me. I couldn't take this anymore...   
  
The pieces were suddenly being broken apart, torn.. like me. I got pulled up and I just had to get fucking pushed down again. I was falling and couldn't see anything to grab a hold on, something to save me. There was nothing or nobody there to catch me. Martin wasn't there this time.   
  
And it hurt...   
  
It did. It hurt like a bitch. It felt like a big load of crap that I couldn't get rid of. I didn't want to live anymore... and that scared me. I ran my fingers through my hair and rubbed my face with my hands. And that's when it happened.   
  
I really broke down... I looked for the umpteenth time at the three pills lying on my bed, right in front of me. I was lay on my side, my throbbing head over a pillow and my eyes burning and red from the tears I had cried earlier as I wondered back and forth if I should take them.  
  
I wanted to easy the pain without those pills, without having to take them. It was wrong and dangerous and worse, I wondered a couple of times what if I just got up and took that bottle of scotch in the kitchen. I shouldn't think that, I shouldn't use the pills, I shouldn't... But how exactly could I easy the pain then? With the way I was feeling? I felt like I couldn't. It was like my head wasn't controlled to do that. It was my disability.   
  
I felt weak, very weak. The light was turned off. Somebody shut it down. It was no longer shining down on me and I missed it. I gave an unspoken plea for somebody to help me. To turn that stupid light back on and be there at the bottom to catch me, to save me. I didn't know if anybody heard it, which I kind of doubted.   
  
But then, as if God was listening to me, I heard the familiar sound of the door opening and I knew Martin was finally home. I looked again at the pills and with anger in me I grabbed them and threw them away. I didn't need those stupid faked pain killers. I had Martin, damn it, he would be the only thing to pull me up again. I wiped away all the tears I could and sat on the bed, bringing my knees to my chest and waited for him to find me.   
  
"Hey, Sam, I bought that vanilla ice cream you like, they had..." I watched when he stopped dead on his feet when he crossed the door jam and saw me. "My God, what happened?" He hurried to my side and as soon as he was close enough I threw myself in his arms, needing his warmth and closeness as he enveloped me with those comforting arms of his. I started crying again and he put a comforting hand on my hair, running his fingers through it. "Shhh... It's ok, baby, it's ok." He whispered in my ear and kissed my head.   
  
I sobbed, I couldn't stop it, I just couldn't and more tears came out. "I just..." It was so hard... "It's hurting... so much."   
  
"Shhh." He tightened his arms around me and moved our bodies back and forth, trying to sooth me with words and movements, using the best way he knew. "I'm here. I'm right here."   
  
I snuggled into him as best as I could and buried my face in his shirt, trying to stop my cries and feel his scent at the same time. "I can't..." I tried but words failed again.  
  
"Don't talk. You don't need to talk now, Ok?" He whispered, his breath straight to my hair. "I'm not going anywhere, baby, just take your time."   
  
Not going anywhere... I knew that. He'd always be there for me. Hearing the words and thinking about them only made me cry harder because I was touched and overwhelmed by these new feelings develping inside me. For the first time ever I had someone or something constant in my life. 


	8. Chapter Eight

Author's note: Oh my, thank you so very much for the reviews!   
  
And LoopyLu1 and Clare B you need to read the fic before The Other Side (The Other Side is a continuation) I think if you read Affinity (the first part) you'll see some things that's obviously confusing for you such as Sam's past. you can read it here: ?storyid=1721898

M-S

**Chapter Eight  
**

M-S

I blinked. No tears. I sniffed. No tears. I think all the water in my body had ended and I wouldn't be able to cry for the rest of my life. I held Martin's hand more firmly and brought it to my chest, linking his hand with my own. He snuggled more into my back and nuzzled my neck. His other arm was under my body so he was embracing me by behind and he tightened his arms around me, pulling me closer.   
  
"You feeling all right?"   
  
"I'm sorry." I said instead of answering him.   
  
"For what?"   
  
"For being a baby."   
  
"Don't be silly. You're the strongest woman I know. If you were crying like that you had a good reason to." He placed small, gentle kisses on my neck a few times and breathed in deeply. "Being together doesn't just mean good sex and laughter. It means that I have to be with you when you need me, just like I'm sure you'd be with me if I needed you. And I love you."   
  
"I love you too." I breathed out, trying hard to hold the tears after hearing his words. It touched me really deep in a way I couldn't even explain myself. I sighed and closed my eyes a bit. I was so tired. I needed to sleep even if for a little while... "She was here." I didn't say anything further.  
  
"Who?"   
  
I cringed as her despised name ran in my head and held his hand stronger. "My mother. I don't know how she found me but she did and she was here." Fucking hell... I thought I could no longer cry... Damn it.   
  
"Why? What did she want?"   
  
"I don't know and I don't care. I closed the door on her face."   
  
"Maybe she needed some kind of help, didn't you..."   
  
I turned harshly in his embrace and shot him a hard look. "No! Don't even! I don't even want to hear any shit you're going to..."   
  
In the middle of my rant he put a hand on my lips and stopped me. "Ok, ok. I'm sorry, all right? I'm not mentioning this again. I'm sorry." He took his hand away put his lips over mine instead and kissed me softly, very softly. "I'm sorry." He said again after he had pulled away.  
  
I nodded and sighed as I slowly closed my eyes. "That's ok. I didn't mean to be harsh. I'm sorry too. It's just, this issue is painful."   
  
"Shhh. Let's not talk about this anymore, OK? Let's make a deal, you're going to change into something more comfortable, try and stay calm and I'll be back with that vanilla ice cream I talked about, OK?" I let out a tired sigh and nodded weakly then turned my head down to look at my twsting hands. "And hey," I looked back up and he smiled. "I even bought strawberry syrup." He winked and left the room.   
  
I never thought one single person could be enough to stop such enormous pain, to make everything easy and make forget about the world around me. I never thought I could even feel this deeply towards someone. I think Martin came along in the right time and things happened in their right time.   
  
I got shot in the right time.   
  
It was the catalyzer to my real feelings and put everything in order. Of course it didn't put ALL in order because after such a traumatic event like having a bullet in my leg I had to sort things out on my own and realize that Martin was the one for me.   
  
I'm sure he was the one for me, it could only be because when I am with him I feel whole, I feel worthy, everything feels perfect and right. I had waisted too much of my life already, regreting too many things I did and didn't do, but now it didn't matter anymore. All that mattered to me now was Martin and only him. I couldn't care about people anymore because everything I need I already have with me.

M-S

I slowly opened my eyes, blinking to the morning light as it dared to tentatively reach my sore eyes. I sighed and when I had gotten used to the daylight I opened my eyes fully and let mylsef enjoy the warmth laying beside me. It was so good, having him so close and with such intimacy was so wonderful, but despite Martin's warm body wrapped around me, I shivered. He had told him he loved me, in so many words, before I fell asleep...   
  
Martin mumbled something in his sleep and moved against my body, his arm wrapped around me, pulling me to him too. For a moment all I wanted was to drown in his skin, his hair, his smell, his muscles and sinew. Get lost in our own personal world and forget about all the pain outside.  
  
But before I could even think about what to do first, a wave of dizziness washed within me and I felt the overpower necessity to throw up. I thought that after a good night's sleep it would make me feel better, but obviously I was wrong and I needed much more than one night with Martin beside me to easy a pain that grew for so many years.   
  
Stealthily, I wiggled out of Martn's grasp and he flopped onto his back, mumbling something incoherent and I didn't really care at the time about what he said and walked to the bathroom as fast as I could, not having time to cast a backwards look at the man still lying in my bed, though I knew it was a pretty picture.  
  
I clutched the side of the sink and watched the last of my regurgitated dinner - what was that ice cream - swirl down the drain with the flow of water. I cupped handfuls of the cool liquid on the sink, bringing it to my lips and rinsing my mouth. I turned the faucet off and let myself fall to the floor, sliding along the tiled wall and pulled my knees to my chest wrapping my arms around it in a very obvious protective position.   
  
A few seconds later there was a tentative tapping at the bathroom door and Martin entered offering me a glass of ice water which I gratefully accepted. He bent down and sat beside me then enveloped me in a warm hug as he softly kissed the side of my head. "You should stay home today." He whispered with a small and sweet voice.   
  
I shook my head and snuggled more into him, pushing my body as close to his as I could. "I can't."  
  
"I'll call you in sick and Jack will understand."   
  
I shook my head again, more veehement and looked up at him. "No. I'm fine."   
  
He sighed and I watched as he gave in, probably deciding he'd never win this conversation. "Ok, fine, Sam." He said with a tone of voice I knew very well he didn't agree with me but said he did anyway. He cupped my face and gave me a quick kiss. "I'm going to make breakfast, ok?"   
  
I smiled and nodded taking one of his hands from my face and putting it over my lips so I could give it a small kiss. He kissed the top of my head and carefully got up, leaving me there. I sighed loudly after he had left and slowly got off of the floor.   
  
I looked around trying to decied what to do and when my eyes found the shower I thought a bath was very deserved. I took my pajamas off and threw it uncarefully on floor, making a mental note to take care of it later. I turned the shower on and stopped inside and while standing under the hot needles of the shower, I let more of my equally hot tears drop from my eyes.   
  
It's been too long, I thought, too long I hadn't even heard of my mother and now she suddenly pops up in front of my door. I wandered how she had passed through the janitor and gotten into the building without being noticed. The janitor would never let someone strange get in, as much as the person insisted.   
  
But now the mess was done and I had seen her. It didn't matter, I wouldn't let her mess my life again, not this time, not after everything and all I was building, all I had with Martin. I wouldn't let her mess it up. I wouldn't.   
  
"Ready?"   
  
"Yeah." I said with no emotion as I pulled my coat on then took my hair from the inside of the coat.   
  
"Samantha?" The single asked word held much more than its visible meaning and that special cord ringing in my ears made me look immediatly at him.   
  
"What?" I sighed not daring to really look him in the eye or otherwise I'd see all his love for me and not be able to hold the tears anymore.   
  
He gently placed a hand on my cheek and moved my head so I was looking at him. "I love you, ok?"   
  
I bit my lip trying hard to stop my tears and nodded. "I know." I whispered since I couldn't find voice enough to speak. "I love you too." I whispered again and gave his lips a soft kiss.   
  
He smile and caressed my cheek with his thumb then it moved and found the back of my neck and he pulled my mouth to his again, I nearly gasped at the sensation of my lips against his, full and soft and tasting of cinnamon tea. I let out a soft whimper, one I couldn't stop, and opened my mouth to him, my tongue venturing to tentatively touch his. I remembered the first time we had kissed like that, tongues touching, slightly brushing against each other. It felt like my very first real kiss, really.   
  
Before I kissed him I had never known that an entire universe could be contained in a single kiss.  
  
He pulled away before the touch of our lips hand't been enough to me. "Kiss me again." I demanded in the greedy tone of a child and again, I was reminded of a universe contained in a kiss. It was a full bore assault on my senses, the feeling of him biting and suckling at my lower lip and plunging his tongue into my mouth. I had to fight to keep my eyes closed, to not drink in the vision of Martin kissing me with abandon.  
  
He pulled away when the necessity to breath became stronger and kept staring at me with those loving eyes of his. I let a small pleased sigh escape between my lips and then it turned into a satisfied smile. He placed his lips on my forehead and kissed it softly. "I love you very much."  
  
"Me too." I said back and smiled again then he opened the door for us to go to work.

M-S  
  
I brought one hand to my eyes and rubbed them, trying to, this way, restrain the tears that were threatening to fall. I didn't want to cry anymore but I couldn't stop it since so many painful memories forced their entry in my head and forcefully danced after my eyes and, unfortunately, the feelings came along with the images so I was forced to feel everything again. And to complete this perfect the dizziness I felt earlier was hitting me again, thought this time I didn't feel sick.   
  
I put my hand on my forehead and let my elbow rest on my desk so I could support my head. I tried to diminish the dizziness letting my eyes closed and breathing in and out very slowly. God, I wished she hadn't come to my home. I wished she hand't found me. Things were going so well. Everything was so perfect and now this...  
  
I sniffed and furiously wiped away a couple of tears that found a way out of my eyes. Damn it, I didn't want people to see me crying. I really didn't need that, I didn't need anyone's pity. Damn... well, at least the dizziness was going away. Oh, God, how I wanted Martin with me right now...  
  
"Are you feeling ok, Samantha?" I felt a light squeeze on my shoulder as I heard the voice I didn't recognize right away. I looked up startled and a bit out of me and my eyes met Viv's.   
  
"Huh, yeah, I'm fine."  
  
"You sure? You look a little pale."   
  
"Yeah. I was just a little dizzy but I'm fine now." I tried to give her a smile but I think I failed because I didn't feel my mouth turning up the way I wanted.  
  
She smiled and squeezed my shoulder one more time before taking her hand away. "Do you want me to bring you something? Coffee? Tea?"   
  
"No, Viv. I'm fine, really. Thank you."   
  
"All right. I won't insit." She gave me a sweet, small smile, one of those that somehow make your eyes shine and make you look brighter, or the people around feel brighter. "But anything I'm here if you want to talk."   
  
I nodded and this time I was sucesfull on giving her a smile. "Ok. Thanks, Viv. Again."   
  
Viv smiled again and turned to go but, in the middle of taking her second step she turned back with a start as if she had remembered something. She gave me a curious smile and a nervouss and concerned look. "It's not... Martin, is it?"   
  
What? Martin? Of course not. I think I must have looked really surprised. "No! No, of course not. We're great. It's not that."   
  
"Ok. Just checking." She smiled yet again and finally left.  
  
Was that worry that I saw? It didn't matter because this was something she'd never see, she'd never have to worry about, ever. Martin and I'd never have fight that could make me feel even close to what I was feeling because of the woman who should've only given me happiness but didn't. Martin was a kind of person that would do anything to keep me happy before thinking of arguing. He'd think very carefully first than say the words to me and this meant he'd never say the wrong words. He'd never hurt or sadden me. Never.  
  
Now, the dizziness was gone but a big headache was kicking in. Damn it. Damn it, damn it, damn it.

M-S  
  
"I'm going to bed." I mumbled without emotion since I wasn't feeling anything as I threw my coat over the nearest thing, though I didn't really care if it ended on the floor and walked with heavy steps to my bedroom. It had been like that for a few days now, me coming home and going to bed with a kick ass headache and that stupid dizziness, throwing myself on the bed still in my work clothes only to get up later even more upset and change into pajamas.   
  
I heard him sighing softly as I walked away and something in my heart tingled. I didn't mean to be mean at him, to be like that, but when you are pissed off at something you're always mean at people who doesn't have anything to do with it, even not wanting to be. You don't have control over this, you only regret later the way you acted when people didn't deserve you acting that way.   
  
I closed the door softly behind me and this time I took off my clothes and put pajamas on before throwing myself on the bed. I wouldn't eat again, I wasn't hungry and anything I put in my stomach would come out later anyway, so I'd just prevent that uncomfortable situation. Especially if it gave me a reason to need Martin when I was feeling so bicthy. I would end up fighting with him and I didn't want that.   
  
All I wanted right now was to creep under the covers on my cold sheets and let my head rest for a while, hoping that the headache would go away soon. And wishing I would stop feeling so depressed. And that I would stop making Martin feel bad for something that wasn't his fault, something he didn't do because I was already regretting that.  
  
I sighed and took two aspirins from the bottle inside the bedside table drawer and gulped it down on dry then lay down. My head was pounding and throbbing and it was irritating me. I was starting to feel hungry but the hesitance of throwing up and of facing Martin stopped me from getting up to eat. I just lay on my side and closed my eyes. Even hungry sleep would come eventually.  
  
I was hovering on the first plane of sleep when the give of the mattress awakened me. "What?" I mumbled, disoriented, unsure of where I was for a moment. Opening my eyes, I saw Martin's face hovering above mine, shadowed in the dark of the room.  
  
His lips pressed against my own after a second of hesitance, tasting of tea and something sweeter. Chocolate, perhaps. I was too sleepy to make out any tastes... "I didn't mean to wake you," he whispered in my ear as he lay beside me.  
  
It still wasn't quite registering with me that we were now living together. I'd wake at night sometimes and ask to myself what Martin was doing in my bed until I was sober enough to remember. Remember that we had well and truly crossed the final border a while ago. It was a realization that still filled me with a small fear, one of the unknown, but also a new twinge of hope that was foreign to me for so long before Martin. "Hey," I said in a lazy, sleepy voice. "I'm sorry if I'm being too rude with you"  
  
Martin brushed away strands of hair that had fallen across my face and kept staring at me for a few more seconds. "You're just depressed and you're doing this to punish yourself. For what exactly I'd like to know, but you should stop. This will only make you more hurt. We don't want that." He whispered with that sweet and smooth tone of his just before kissing my forehead. That voice that always made me believe everything was right and lulled my to sleep.   
  
A brief survey with my hands on his body revealed he had come to bed in his boxers and nothing else and this made my heat rise, my wanting for him grew bigger. It's been days already, I thought to myself. "I'm sorry I made you miss the excitement for so long."  
  
He chuckled and soon his hands moved down the front of my pajama top, deftly unbuttoning as they went. "My, what sexy sleepwear you have here, Sam."  
  
I poked him in the side, producing a satisfying yelp from him and said with a vitorious smile on my face, one that I'm not really sure he saw. "Any more cracks about my pajamas and I'll never show you what I have in the bottom drawer of my dresser."  
  
He said nothing, but carefully pulled apart my pajama top, revealing my skin and he brought his head down, placing small kisses along me neck and shoulder. I let my head rest against the pillow and shut my eyes, only feeling him, the only thing that mattered.   
  
It really sucked to be in such a bad mood and force Martin to live with it. To put up with my bitchy side and snapping at him for no real reason. I felt bad for doing this when I went to bed tonight and heard his sigh. But now it didn't matter anymore because we made up and for the first time I'd know how it was make up sex with him. People say it's better.   
  
Who am I to disagree? Shall I try then.

M-S  
  
End of this chapter! Three more chapters to go and this sucker is done! Review!


	9. Chapter Nine

**Chapter 9**  
  
MS-MS  
  
One bleary eye opened and then the next. A glance at the alarm clock by the bed told me it was almost 9:00 am. For one panicked split-second I thought I was terribly late for work. No, I thought a second later, it was Saturday morning and the warm and strong arm around me told me I was fine. I sighed relieved as I rolled over and smiled at Martin, his handsome features slackened and softened in slumber.  
  
With my fingertips I ruffled his dark hair. I didn't know how he hadn't waken up with my movement, for as small as it was he always woke up. I shrugged the thought away and focused back on his handsome sleeping face. I love you, I wordlessly said to him. My fingers drew patterns on the light patch of dark hair on his chest and my hand stopped there, flatenned it, my fingers gently caressing the soft skin of his bare chest.  
  
As I kept there, just staring at him, eventually his eyes slowly opened and I met with the amazing beauty of the blue of his eyes. He brought one hand to his eyes and rubbed then as a yawn stopped the smile his mouth held. "Hey."   
  
I smiled back at him and lay over his body, my face only inches from his. I immediately felt his arms wrapping themselves around me body, keeping me to him, almost as if he was afraid I'd leave. "Hey." I said back and placed my lips over his, very slowly and gently kissing him. I pulled away and right in the middle of my smile I sneezed.   
  
Twice.   
  
Damn.. I can't kiss him if I sneeze...  
  
And just when the words came in my mind I coughed.  
  
"I think you got a cold." He whispered and put one warm hand over my forehead. "I don't think you have a fever, though."   
  
"Of course not." I mumbled and got off of him, laying on my side. "I don't have a cold hence I don't have a fever."   
  
"Ok, fine. Maybe you don't have a cold but you're beginning to have one. We better take care of it before it gets worse."   
  
"I'm fine!" I was not sick. I didn't have a cold. He was making it bigger than it was. And I swore if he tried to keep me home with loads of clothes I'd kill him. And damn it! What the hell I start sneezing when I was kissing him. This was not good.   
  
"Of course you are." He put his lips on my head to place a kiss there, but he kept them longer the it was needed then pulled away. "I'll make breakfast. Why don't you go take a warm bath then I'll make tea and bring you a couple of aspirins?"   
  
I sighed and lay back giving him a stern look. "I told you I'm fine."   
  
"I know. No one's saying otherwise." He said softly and flashed me one of his smirks just before leaving the bedroom.   
  
I smiled to myself after he was gone and stayed in bed a little longer. Well, if he wanted to spoil me I wouldn't complain.

MS-MS  
  
"Thank you." I said to Martin as he handed me the cup with mint tea. It smelled very good and Martin was really good in the kitchen so the tea could only taste as good as every thing else he did. I closed me eyes as I breathed in the sweet fume coming from the cup and felt the couch moving so I opened my eyes to smile at him as he sat beside me.   
  
"The aspirins." He opened his hand and revealed two small white pills. I took them and held them in my hand as I took a sip of the tea. "Careful. It's still hot."   
  
I nodded and slowly took a sip. Though it was mint, the tea was very sweet and felt really good on my tongue. I sighed satisfied and gulped the two pills at once with another sip of the tea then, when I felt his arm gently creeping around my shoulders I snuggled into him letting out a breathy happy sigh. "I love you."   
  
He put a small kiss on the top of my head and rested his chin there. "Me too." He said back and tightened the hold his arm had around my shoulders.

MS-MS  
  
The living room was quiet except for the crackling of the fire in the hearth and the sound of me drumming my fingers on the desk. I sighed as I put my briefcase over the table and sat heavily on the chair. I had load of paperwork to do, one that I let aside for too long and now it had accumulated and it'd hard to get this done with to the next day. It was extremly boring.  
  
How do you sum up a life in a few paragraphs? I had faced that dilemma myself every time I had to fill in a report.   
  
I opened the briefcase and faced the first paper of the pile inside. Opening my pen I started the torturous task of writing. It was really difficult to focus on my work at hand. Now and then my mind would drift to wonderland, remembering of something e and martin did the day before or something funny he had said and I would start laughing for nothing.   
  
When I had come to my senses, I realized I had stared at the paper in front of me for twenty minutes with only three lines filled, just when his soft voice stopped me and made me look up. "Hey."   
  
Sweet Lord in Heaven...  
  
That was one of the best visions ever.  
  
Martin was drying his hair off, chest still bare and humid and all muscular, hypnoticly calling for me, wearing only black swetpants. Oh My God... give me the strength to keep myself focused on my job... "Hot." I couldn't stop myself from muttering. When it comes to him my body works on its own will.   
  
A smiled formed over his lips and he gave my his boyish smile and winked flirtatiously at me, then stopped drying his hair, letting the towel hang around his neck as he walked to me and and, as he got closer, his smell hit me with full force. He put his arms around my neck and embraced me behind then placed a small kiss, soft kiss there. "What are you doing?"   
  
I sighed again, pleased by his proximity and leaned back in hs touch. "Reports. I need to hand them to Jack tomorrow."   
  
"All this?" He hand't taken his mouth from my neck, so when he spoke his breath went straight to my neck and warmed it. I don'know if I'd ever stop feeling the electric tingles running through my body, but feeling it now I truly believed I'd never stop feeling that. It was Martin the one who gave me that and as long as he was with me, they'd never go away.   
  
"Yeah..." He pulled away and begam to massage my neck. Bending my head forward, I groaned in appreciation. His fingers began to knead knots out of my shoulders and I made a low sound in the back of my throat. "That feels wonderful."   
  
He kissed the top of my head and a few minutes later he stopped his ministrations. "You need to finish this now. We don't want Jack saying that I'm the one responsible for your delay."  
  
I laughed and turned to look at him. "I'm sure he would."   
  
He shook his head, failing to stop a smile of his own. "I'm going now."   
  
"There's food done. You just need to re-heat it."   
  
"Thanks." He said back, his voice muffled by the kitchen walls.   
  
He put a steamy mug of coffee over the table, right in front of me and two pills of aspirin. "I made some coffee, but this mug is the only one you're going to drink. We don't need a very wake Sam. She's not a nice person to put up with. If you want to drink more, there's cinnamom tea, ok?"   
  
"Oh, thank you, Martin. So much." I immediately grabbed the mug and drank a well, big gulp of the black liquid. He was so sweet that sometimes it scared me.   
  
"I'm going to bed. Don't stay up too late." He whispered onto my mouth just before giving me a tiny, sweet kiss.   
  
"Good night. Love you."   
  
"Me too." He smiled and started walking away. "Good night."   
  
It was almost midnight and I had finally finished all my paperwork. I was so tired I could sleep on anything I could rest me body on. I slowly opened my bedroom door, carefully not to wake Martin if he was already asleep and the triangle of yellow light peeked out as I opened the door fully, letting me know he had let the lights on for me.   
  
I switched off the light and the room seemed too dark to me, a room that strangely smelled of him, a room in which I could hear his breathing. I slide into my crisp cotton sheets that while clean, were already smelling of him, of his skin and shampoo and soap. He had fallen asleep halfway through some old black and white movie I could notice as I looked at the turned on TV just before turning it off, and somewhere in the middle of his sleep had had made himself more comfortable.   
  
I moved closer to him, my head resting on his shoulder, my sleep-pliant flesh molded to his. I slept hugged to the front of his body feeling the heartbeat in his chest, nuzzled my nose into the soft skin of his neck. Automatically, his arm wrapped around my back and he buried his face in my hair, breathing deeply my clean, womanly smell. I couldn't stop a loving smile from forming over my lips as I felt his invluntarely moves.   
  
It was so good to sleep with the familiar press of human flesh against my body. It hadn't been too long since I had slept like that, but it had been shamefully long since I had slept with someone I truly loved, someone I felt the way I did about him. I was surrounded entirely by him- the smell of male night-sweat, the soft rumbles of snores from his nose, the softness of his arms around me, unconsciously keeping me protected.   
  
I smiled to myself. I couldn't stop feeling happy when I was with him, I couldn't stop all my feelings coming up to the front, showing fully. Every day we worked hard to save people, to find them and bring them back to their families, but sometimes we couldn't. We needed to see the worse and bad side of everyones, their dirty secrets, the wronge things they did and sometimes it affected us more them they should. It was impossible to not feel down seeing all the bed shit of the world and going home without being able to help anymore than just find the missing persons.  
  
But the truth was that in the end, the only thing worth getting out of bed and engaging in the world for was love. I almost laughed at my stupidity, that the real answer to the emptiness that had plagued me for so many years had been literally under my nose.

MS-MS  
  
I sneezed for the tenth time and brought one white tissue to my nose. "Damn cold." I muttered with my cold nasal sound voice. I made a ball of the tissue and threw it on the garbage can next to my desk. I had a light headache and the nausea kicking in wasn't helping matters. I sneezed again and one more time I had to use the tissue.   
  
"Did you go see the doctor?"   
  
I looked up startled by the sudden voice interrupting the calming silence. Martin had rested his side on my desk and was looking expectantly at me. "Yeah. I did. I made a few exames. I'm supposed to go see the results tomorrow. It's just the flu, you'll see."   
  
"Well, I hope so, because this is getting ugly. You're worse each passing day."   
  
"Thanks for cheering me up." I gave him a half hearted smile and he chuckled, then bent down to kiss the top of my head.   
  
"I just want you to get better."   
  
"I know..." I started to speak but just then the phone rang. He gave me a a smile and nodded his head as he walked away, giving me time alone to talk on the phone. "Spade"   
  
"Hi, Samantha. It's Dr. Kelley."   
  
"Oh, hey." I cringed at the sound of her voice. Well, you know, doctors didn't usually call with good news. And surely she hand't called just to say I have the flu because I'd go get the results of my exames tomorrow. Suddenly I started to feel nervous.   
  
"You've got to stop using your pills."   
  
My eyebrows knitted together in confusion as I tried to register her words. "What? Why?"   
  
"You're pregnant, Samantha."   
  
I am what.... Oh my God. The room suddenly lost its focus as I felt the blood drain from my face. My head started to spin and I placed a hand on the desk to steady myself. I ventured a glance over at Martin, who was thankfully absorbed in a conversation with Danny. Finding it difficult to catch my breath, I attempted to calm my voice but I wasn't too sucesful as I hear the shaky tone in it. "Are you sure? How's that possible?"   
  
"I'm sure. We needed to make some safe blood tests to make sure you could take certain medicines and it was positive."   
  
I took in a deep breath and swallowed hard as I casted a quick glance at Martin, still talking with Danny. I turned back to face my desk and lowered my voice even more, afraid that someone could hear me. "But I've been careful."   
  
"Welcome to the one percent."

MS-MS  
  
TBC. So, two more chapters and I'm done with this! The last scene I just got the idea from a X Files fanfic, that had things similar. I just thought it would be cool to use it.   
  
Review, please. =]


	10. Chapter Ten

A/N: I'm SO sorry for taking so long to update this! I really am! i just felt too lazy to do it and had nothing on my mind to write, plus school is being a bitch. But now the new chapter is here and i hope everyone will enjoy it because I probably won't update again for a long while. Sorry. You must be hating me for it, but oh well... What can I do? When the muse is dead, the muse is dead  
  
MS-MS-MS-MS  
  
"Hey." Martin smiled immediately as he saw me getting out of the elevator and walked towards me. "Did you go get your results?"  
  
I bit my inner cheek and gave him a nervous smile, that thankfully he didn't notice. "Yeah. And I was right. It is just the flu."  
  
He brought one hand up, gingerly touching my face, letting his warm palm rest against the skin of my cheek. He gave me a loving smile just before kissing my forehead. "Good. I'm glad it's nothing serious."  
  
"Yeah." I mumbled. "Nothing serious."  
  
"You should go home and rest."  
  
"I'm fine. No need to go home." My God... I was in a real mess.  
  
MS-MS-MS  
  
Oh, God, what am I going to do? I thought desperately. The steady rhythm of Martin's breathing beside me, which usually had such a tranquilizing effect, did nothing to lull me to sleep tonight. Oh God how could this happen? What am I going to do? For a fleeting second of blind panic I'd considered abortion and of not telling Martin about it all, but that passed quickly once my senses returned to me. Besides, I'd pretty much decided abortion was out of the question for me. Whatever my personal beliefs on the subject were, ultimately, I wanted this baby... it was part of Martin and part of me, a physical manifestation of our devotion; a bond that we would always have. But I wouldn't hold it against him if he wasn't ready to be a father; I was prepared - or would be - to raise this baby myself.  
  
He said I should go home and rest after I told him I had the flu. I scoffed inwardly... rest? Who could rest now? How was I going to tell him?? What would this mean to my relationship with him? Try as I might, I could not possibly imagine what on earth his reaction would be. He could do the honorable thing, because Martin was honorable, I didn't think he'd be the type to abandon me. Not when I needed him the most. But he still could fly from the room and never look back again. No, the thought crossed my mind, he would never leave me. Not because of this. But what if...  
  
Gosh... The last thing I wanted was for him to stay with me out of some outdated sense of obligation; especially when I was ready to do this on my own... but was I kidding myself? Was I being realistic? Could I really do this by myself? What was this going to mean to my career? And just then, nausea tightened its hold on my stomach and I deserted the idea of trying to find sleep.  
  
I got up, carefully not to wake him and silently left the bedroom.  
  
MS-MS-MS  
  
"Can't sleep?" His whispered voice careful not to startle me, reached my ears as he sat down beside me, grabbing one cookie from my plate.  
  
"What are you doing?"  
  
"What does it look like I am doing?"  
  
I flashed him a hard glance and rolled my eyes. Really, I didn't need to face this yet. "Go back to bed. You need to sleep."  
  
"Nah, I'm not going back unless you come with me. How am I supposed to sleep knowing you're not with me?"  
  
As much as I was appreciative for the thought, I really needed the time to be alone with my thoughts. But somehow tonight, right now I just wanted his company, to be with him like this... because soon, it might never be the same again. Yeah, after everything I actually thought that.  
  
As I looked at him, the tears welled in my eyes. Martin's face filled with concern as he looked at me and saw my face. "What? What is it?" I leaned forward and rested my head against his chest, trying to feel his soft scent, lock it inside my head to forever remember. He caressed my back as he held me. "What's wrong?"  
  
I sighed deeply and forced myself to keep more tears from coming. The concern in his voice was so sweet and so touching. But I wished I didn't need to hear it out of concern. "It's ok. I'm fine. Really." I responded, my throat tight with emotion.  
  
Though I could not see his face, I could hear the smile in his voice as he said, teasing me "Is this PMS or something?"  
  
Oh God. Was he really saying that? Could he be more innocent? I wouldn't have PMS for a long while and this only made more tears to come. But I still laughed through my tears, because he had no idea just how funny that was.  
  
He laughed too, because a laugh is always contagious and tightened his hold around me. "Come on. Let's go to bed." He said softly and we got up, walking back to bed.  
  
MS-MS-MS  
  
"I'm pregant." I whispered, not daring to look at the person in front of me and see the disaproving look.  
  
"And you didn't tell him." She didn't ask, she just stated an obvious fact.  
  
"No." I whispered again, still looking at my hands.  
  
"Why not, Samantha?"  
  
"I don't know."  
  
"Haven't you thought about this?"  
  
"I did." I finally looked up and met Lisa's eyes. To my surprise I didn't see in them the disaproving look I was expecting but the soft stare of a friend. Yeah, friends. That's what Lisa and I became along the months I came here. She became my friend, my confidente. I knew she was paid to be that, but the thought warmed me none the less. "I... I can't."  
  
"Why not? By all the things you told me I thought he liked kids."  
  
"That's not the point. What if he doesn't want this kid?"  
  
"Samantha, don't get me wrong, but I think what you're saying is absurdity. He loves you."  
  
"Yeah, but I thought my father loved me and he left me anyway."  
  
Lisa kept staring at me as she let out a soft sigh. She wrote something down on her notepade and looked back at me. "So that's the whole problem?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"Your father."  
  
"No." I shook my head, trying to give confidence to myself. But I obviously failed because I didn't believe in myself.  
  
"I think we just found something to work on first, don't you think?"  
  
I brought one hand up and rubbed my eyes as I let out a heavy breath. That was something I really didn't need to talk about and I knew it was a topic I'd have to touch eventually. I knkew one day she would want to talk about him. Well, the sooner we talk about this the sooner we'll close this topic and we won't have to open this again.  
  
So, let's just get over with this already.  
  
MS-MS-MS  
  
I heard the very familiar click on the door and my heart swelled. I invonluntarely smiled and got up to meet him in the hall, just when he was closing the door. "Hey. It took you a while."  
  
The second he gave me a nervous smile my heart sank a bit and I felt a nervous tingle run down my spine. "I got... held up by something." He practicially mumbled and didn't say anything else.  
  
I think I waited a couple of seconds for him to say something, but he didn't and for the first time in my life I felt akward standing there, in front of him. I cleared my throat and tried to smile. "Wanna help with that?" I asked rethorically for I was already taking two bags from him.  
  
"Yeah. Thanks."  
  
We walked in silence to the kitchen and put the bags on the counter and helped Martin to put the groceries away. I didn't know what was happening but I could feel his hesitance and nervousness from wherever I was. It was floating like big waves of electricity from him and it was making myself nervous too and curious to know what had happened when he was out.  
  
"So, hmm, you feeling ok?" At least he was trying to make small talk. I had felt dizzy and a nausea had attacked me. After a very disconfortable session of throwing up he decided to go to the store and buy some groceries and stop by the drugstore to buy something for me.  
  
He still didn't know about my pregnant state because I still hadn't courage enough to say that to him. To tell him about the baby. And he still thought it was the flu. "Yeah." I smiled at him but he didn't quite smile back. "I'm much better." I murmured and sighed then looked at him right in the eye and for some reason he averted my stare and this really hurt me. "Are YOU feeling ok?"  
  
"Yeah. Why?"  
  
He answered way too quickly, not a breath wasted and this only increased my curiosity. But I wouldn't ask him, if it was something I should know he would tell me. I wouldn't act like a jealous bitch hausewife. This wasn't me and I wouldn't be like that. "Nothing." I said without emotion and left the kitchen as fast as I could without giving a single glance at him.  
  
I heard his soft sigh and his steps following me just when I threw myself onthe couch and sank in it. "I..." He started but, maybe with lack of words, he stopped and stood in front of me. He ran a hand over his face, rubbing his eyes and ran his fingers through his growing hair in an obvious sign of nervousness. "I don't know if I should tell you this." He whispered.  
  
"If it's something that concerns me, then yes you should. Especially after you come home acting like a stranger." I didn't mean to sound rude or harsh, but the words just came out from their own will. And I think I was starting to be afected by the crazy hormones. I ended souding like I was mad. I wasn't, I just didn't want him to act like that.  
  
He kept staring at me and just when I opened my mouth to tell him to stop, he spoke and the words that left his mouth froze me. "I talked with your mother."  
  
Really, I froze. I didn't know what to say. No, I actually knew. I knew every single word that I'd say, every words was in my brain but my mouth denied to cooperate, it wasn't agreeing with my brain. I stared back at him, mute for a long time, trying to understand his words, to believe in what he was saying. "You what?" I whispered and felt burning behind my eyes.  
  
"I was on my way to the store and she stopped me." In the curse of his sentence he took a step to me and I got up and took a step away. "She asked me to give you this." He handed me a small white envelope, which I ignored, though what I really wanted to do was to snap his hand away.  
  
"You shouldn't... You shouldn't have even stopped! You should..." Words failed me and tears started to fall. Didn't he know how much that hurt me? I had told him what she did to me and he helped her? He had betrayed me like no one had ever done before. He lied to me. He ripped my heart and left it there to bleed... "How could you..." Now I couldn't even form an entire sentence for the tears were so strong that they stopped from speaking.  
  
"Sam, what could I..."  
  
"No!" I yelled through my tears and all the anger inside me came out. I couldn't stop it from showing up front. I just couldn't. "Don't even dare! I don't want to talk to you." I said between clenched teeth and stomped out of the room, heading to my bedroom and locking the door when I got inside. Right now I didn't want him anywhere near me.  
  
"Sam, please, open up." His muffled voice sounded as he knocked softly on the door.  
  
"Go away!" I yelled again. "Leave me alone. I hate you." I added, though the last sentence came out barely above a whisper.  
  
"Come on, Sam. Don't do this."  
  
"Go to hell!" I furiously wiped my tears away, wanting to make the anger go away by giving me some pain, because then, with the pain I'd have something to think about instead of Martin and this situtation. I threw myself on the bed and put a pillow over my head to try and stop hearing his pleas for me to open the door. I didn't want to see him. I didn't want him near me. I was dusgusted, sickened and... gosh! It was so hard to think straight with all the anger boiling inside.  
  
I pressed the pillow harder on my head and could only hear muffled sounds. He would get tired eventually and leave me alone. He had to. And he did. A few seconds later, there was no sounds coming from the outside of her bedroom, except the sounds of Martin pacing around.  
  
I sighed loudly and tossed on my bed, trying to find a better position to lay. The room was dark because the blinds were closed and it was warm. Martin had turned on the termostate earlier that day to warm our bedroom. Too bad he wouldn't enjoy it.  
  



End file.
